At A Glance Author VEAL Contact VEAL@bme.anon When N/A Artist Dr.Wijngaerden Studio District General Hospital Location UK I wanted them SO bad.
I had wanted some implants for a long, long time. Living in the UK there was no one I classed as 'qualified' (a term loosely used ) enough to perform the job for me and at this time a well known US 'practitioner' was considered to be the best in the world so I knew he would be the man for the job. My husband took a great deal of convincing that it was safe and that nothing would go wrong. Something you can never guarantee, I know so I went about doing as much research as I possibly could. I found most info from BME and also from seeking out people who had work from Steve and asking them how well their implants had healed and also how easy to live with they were. I can't be doing with any kind of 'modification' that isn't practical or gets easily upset and sore, this is why I would never go for all these new fangled cartilage or surface piercings. If I do things to my body it's with a view to them being pretty much permanent. I also bombarded Steve with questions online and phoned him a number of times too so I made sure nothing was overlooked. I also got in touch (or tried to at least) with Jesse, who was making my implants for me for $200 each. Obviously I wanted to know what kind of material he would use, how inert and stable it was, if there was any known side effects from it and how long could I expect them to last for (in the case of any degradation) He told me to go away and do my research. I asked him again, pointing out that seeing as how I was buying them from HIM it might be seen as a reasonable first step in research to ask him about them! He finally told me that they were made of an 'elastomer' (the term surgical silicon gets bandied about allot but I don't believe this was a surgical material for reasons which will become clear later) and that I could find out about it from looking at plastic surgeons web sites. I found this to be extremely unhelpful and nearly backed out at this point, not least of all because I suddenly found that I couldn't honestly reassure myself or my husband that this material was safe. Bear in mind that at this point in time only a handful of people had these type of implants, I believe Steve told me after I got my implants that only eleven people had got star implants from him. I hadn't been warned how experimental they were and in any case was charged around $700 .I had absolute faith in him and never once questioned his ability or more importantly judgement as a 'practitioner'. He assured me that the kind of implant and the placement of them wouldn't be a problem. No kind of risk what so ever was made apparent to me or ever mentioned. I had total trust in him.
Leaving on a jet plane.
So, off to the US I went. I wont bother going into the actual procedure because it was uneventful and not unlike any other experience you can read on BME. The only thing that did bother me however was how tired and over worked Steve and Beki were. Because of their good reputation they are in demand wherever they work and as a result I feel they took on far too many jobs to be crammed into two and a half days. To put it bluntly, they were both knackered out towards the end but still carried on working. I actually felt quite sorry for them, but then I also felt sorry or people having to under go quite intense procedures very late at night when we were all very tired too. Not ideal, but still. After getting my implants done I had a little break and later had my ears very successfully cauterized, they came out perfectly Steve did an excellent job and I'm still VERY pleased with them.
My arms were very bruised, as you'd expect. With bruising extending from my my inner elbow to my palm. It actually wasn't too painful though, I think I was rather lucky because I'd been warned that it can feel akin to getting walloped with a baseball bat. I travelled home a week or so later. A few days after my return I had my sutures taken out by a friend. My arms didn't look bruised by this time, but I was getting quite concerned about the lack of definition and how odd and swollen my arms looked around the implants. I mentioned this to my friend (who also went to the US to get implants at the same time as me and watched me having mine inserted) he said that it was a fluid build up. I didn't know anything about this, fortunately my friend had over heard Steve telling another client about how it's not uncommon to get fluid building up inside the implant pocket and that you had to get rid of it by lancing it with a piercing needle. I was horrified, this was news to me! At no point had anyone mentioned this to me or in front of me. Now, I have no problem with piercing myself...in fact I actually enjoy it in a recreational sense so I phoned Steve to find out more, he apologised and said he was too tired and had forgotten to mention it to me. It was no big deal. Apparently I had to get a 14g needle and insert it into the general area of the swelling and squeeze out the fluid. I was really unhappy about this because for one thing it was impossible to work out exactly where the implant material was under the swelling and secondly common sense told me that sticking a needle into a sealed pocket in a non-sterile environment is a really bad idea. If any bacteria got into the hole I could end up with a serious infection. I have a friend who's a nurse and she specialises in surgical wound management at our local hospital so I went over to her place with sterile dressing, needles, scrub and gloves. She was horrified at the idea and told me that she couldn't in good conscience stick needles into my arms. She said that in a hospital situation you would cut a slit to minimise the chances of sealed in infection and would place a drainage tube into the wound. A pressure bandage would then be applied. I realise, of course, that this wasn't your typical wound nor a hospital situation however it's interesting to see this from a trained and professional point of view and quite starkly highlights how we are so prepared to take such risks with our health. She suggested that as this was a build up of lymphatic fluid the best way to get rid of it with NO risk to health what so ever was to keep my arms elevated above heart height as much as possible and wear a light bandage. This worked fine and should most definitely have been the first suggested course of action rather than something invasive and potentially dangerous and possibly avoidable. I did inform Steve of all the info the nurse gave me as I thought it might be helpful for his future clients.
Beginning of the end.
It became quite apparent once the fluid was gone that my implants had sunk into my arms. My left arm had only three points of the star showing and my right arm only the two lateral tips which were so near to the surface they looked like they would pop through. The rest of the star was so completely buried that no amount of finger tip searching would give away their position inside me. I had been getting odd sensations in my arms, but I didn't know if this was 'normal' or not. I didn't have anyone to compare notes with as I don't have any friends here who had these kind of implants. I presumed at first that this was just part of the healing process. I was getting pins and needles in my little finger with occasional numbness, odd cold chills shooting down my arms to my hand and some shooting pains too. My thumb on my left hand was becoming painful and I could trace the pain up from my thumb to my inner arm. Gripping with my left hand had become difficult because of this and I had trouble with things like removing the lids from jars for example. The pain was with me every day now, and although it was never what I would call severe it was persistent. I began to worry more about about what was going on inside my arms. The fact that I couldn't see the implants increased my concern even more until I was just bout worried sick. I noticed that where the 'leg' on the inner most point of my arm was what appeared to be a bluish bruise which never really went away, I thought this was due to me knocking it on things as the tip of the implant was very prominent here. Apart from the obvious effect they were having on my nerves the implants also completely failed to meet any of my aesthetic expectations. You couldn't make out what shape they were meant to be at all, they just looked like lumps. Several people commented that it looked like I had broken my arms. People would often ask to look at them and it became a source of embarrassment, particularly when they asked how much I had paid for them. I felt so stupid.
Seek medical help.
After six months it became quite clear that these implants had to be removed. First of all I considered either travelling back to the US to get them removed by 'practitioners' rather than surgeons, I hadn't actually considered that I would be able to get it done here but frankly the idea of trusting someone medically unqualified to start digging around in my arms was not very comforting. I discussed my dilemma with Rachel (Shannon's missus) as she had also gone through the removal process. She was very helpful and suggested that I may be able to get a surgeon in Canada to do the job, which would have been fine but for the fact that I'd spent all my money on going to the US already. Hubby, even though he reeked of 'told you so!' offered to take out a loan to pay for my flight but I already felt so bad about wasting our money that I knew I had o try and get help in the UK. Things were not improving, in fact they were getting worse. I felt so embarrassed and stupid that I couldn't get the nerve together to call my doctor so I phoned The National Health Service help line. They assured me that my doctor would be obliged to help me out if they presented a risk to my health. The lady I spoke to was VERY helpful and was quite interested in my implants as she hadn't heard of them before. If you live in the UK and have any kind of problem with 'mods' or surgical procedures that have messed up or are causing you concerns over your health do not hesitate to call them. They are unbiased and very approachable and most of all TOTALLY CONFIDENTIAL! I took their advice and got in touch with my doctor. He was a little upset that I'd felt I couldn't go to him about my problems, I should have known better really as my surgical antics seem to be a major source of amusement to him. He greeted me with folded arms, a smile and a typical "so, what have you done THIS time?" To illustrate a little better I asked if his PC was online, I knew I was his last patient of the day so I suggested that maybe he'd like to have a look at my procedural photos on BME. I also used this as an opportunity to show him that I wasn't nuts and that there are plenty of likeminded folk all over the world who exercise freedom over their bodies in a similar way. This went okay until I accidentally ended up on page of cock splitting mages which resulted in him bursting out laughing and staggering around his office with his knees crossed! After examining my arms thoroughly he agreed that the implants should come out and that he would refer me to a surgeon at our local district general hospital. I had an eight week wait for my appointment. In the UK our hospitals are free (well, paid for by peoples income tax mainly so we do pay for them in a round about way) they have limited funds so I was very concerned that as I was responsible for my problems they may tell me to go away. The surgeon decided that as they presented a definite risk to my health the hospital would remove them for me. I would have to have a general aesthetic though because they were now much deeper than when they were put in and it could take a long time to dig them out .Dr.Wijngaerden also commented on how foolish it had been to place them into the soft tissue of the inner arm because it was obvious they would embed.
The op.
I was admitted to the day surgery unit on 22nd June at 8m.I was asked a battery of health questions such as did I take contraceptive pills, was I diabetic, epileptic, pregnant etc.They asked if I smoked or if 'd ever had an adverse reaction to a local anaesthetic. I take oral contraceptives so there is a real risk of deep vein thrombosis with invasive procedures. I was given an anti-blood clotting injection before they operated to combat this. Because they were operating on both my arms I had the anaesthetic put into my foot. This hurt like a b*****d. Before I knew it I was drifting of to sleep. The next thing I was aware of was farting loudly and the recovery room staff cracking up laughing at me, charming! I was wheeled back to the ward on a trolley to inspect my arms. They were heavily bandaged from my elbow to my wrists, my hands were sticky with blood and bactine .I prodded them (still half asleep) and found they were numb from local anaesthetic shots. The theatre nurse told me that they had difficulty getting the implants out as they had buried themselves deep into my body fat. They had to make the incision nearly twice as long as the original and had sutured me internally to hold everything together and minimise scarring. I had steri-strips on the outside and thick pressure padding to prevent fluid build up. She showed me my implants in a see through bag. One had started falling to bits and had three cracks in it so deep that it only just held together. It transpired that what I had originally put down to being a bluish bruise was in fact an blood vessel that had been caught in and pinched by the defective material. The cracks appear to be caused by the implant being forced to follow the curvature of my arm and must be quite brittle. On the back of one of the implants I could clearly make out some embossed lettering and part of some kind of design which included a 10mm or so high capital 'A' and a curved line. My husband commented that it looked like they had turned to toffee. This was after eleven months of being inside me, I strongly question whether this was a surgical material, in particular because it had writing on it! The hospital kept photos for their records. Well, I recovered quickly and once I'd been able to keep food down and pass urine they let me go home with a box of codeine painkillers which not only made me stoned out of my mind but which also gave me terrible eczema and constipation! I had to wear really tight surgical stockings to avoid thrombosis for the next 24 hours which made the itching worse too.
The aftermath.
It's a month now since I had my implants removed. I have two one inch scars. The skin is still slightly grey looking and wrinkly as a result of my implant stretched skin relaxing. The area where they were is still painful, hard and lumpy. They still look unsightly but not as bad as the implants did! My nurse said it would take around two years for my arms to reach optimum healing because my body would have to build up granulated layers of tissue to fill in all the gaps (although it has to be said they don't look anywhere near as bad as I thought they might) and to break down the scar tissue. The pain in my left hand and thumb has completely gone now. The skin over the implant site is very sensitive and sore I do get the occasional twitching nerve and if I do anything strenuous with my arms I get terrible shakes in them for an hour or so (kind of like DT's..haha) but I'm sure this will subside in time.
Lessons I have learnt and questions we MUST ask.
If the origin and type of material your practitioner is using cannot be substantiated then how do you know for sure what it is?
Why would a surgical grade material manufactured specifically for internal use have large embossed writing on it?
Is your practitioner well rested and fit to work on you?
Should we pay full price for experimental procedures?
Why would a person making implants be so reluctant to divulge information in order to reassure paying customers that it was safe and legitimate?
Have you been informed of ALL the risks or have you been told NOTHING negative what so ever? even a basic ear piercing has risks, think about it.
Should procedures be incidental to what is in effect a paid holiday or should we expect the practitioners full and undivided attention?
How helpful have they been at replying to your concerns? Can you get hold of them quickly once things go wrong? And will they be sympathetic?
Just because something can be done doesn't necessarily mean it should, are you aware of the failure rate of your chosen 'mod'?
Were you advised not to smoke before and after your procedure to avoid thrombosis?
Did your practitioner check if you take oral contraceptives and administer blood thinning drugs or indeed recognise symptoms of deep vein thrombosis?
That last one might sound a little melodramatic but this is a condition that can KILL in particular if you plan on flying home after a procedure.
I'd like to make it clear that I'm not trying to say all implants are bad and that no one should get them. Also that I bear no animosity towards Steve, this may have gone wrong after the event but he did do a good neat job of getting them in there! I think we have to exercise logic a little more when choosing the materials we use and the placement of them though. Afterall you do that with a piercing so why should implants be any different?