At A Glance
Author	cuthalcoven
Contact	cuthalcoven@bme.anon
IAM	cuthalcoven
When	It just happened
Artist	Jay Jay
Studio	Purrfectly Pierced
Location	Toledo, OH

Awhile back I decided I "had" to have a tattoo in the middle of my shoulder blades. For a lot of reasons, I chose the kanji that meant "Self-Confidence". The experience about it is here if you'd like to read the beginning. As a quick recap- I got the tattoo to try and ease some of the extremely low self-esteem I suffered all of my life. I had hoped that seeing it every day would help me to mentally tell myself I was worth something, and that eventually I would believe it as well.

Unfortunately, I went to the newest artist in town, who had an awesome portfolio. The problem was that he didn't have any photos of healed tattoos in it, only fresh ones. Every tattoo looks great when it's shiny and brand new, so of course I figured he could do the job. After all, how hard could it be to do two small symbols? During the procedure, I held my breath and gritted my teeth a lot. Even my wrist tattoos didn't hurt as bad! I thought it was just because of the placement, but in actuality the artist was digging too deep and depositing too my ink under the skin.

Because of this, the black faded and the purple outline that I had wanted so badly blew out and ended up looking very shabby. I had scarring around the edges where he dug too deep and the ink didn't even stay at all. My whole "tell yourself it enough and you'll believe it" theory went out the window, because I was definitely not getting any confidence from having a faded and scarred tattoo.



I started working at the family bar this past month to help my mom and dad out. It's the first time I've had a job in a while since I've been a full time college student, so I finally had some spare money to spend. After having to cancel an appointment because of a kidney infection and shingles all in one go, I was mighty pissed and made another appointment immediately after I finished my antibiotics.

Jay Jay was wonderful. I explained the meaning behind the tattoo, and why I wasn't happy with it. He'd previously fixed my mom's tattoo, and had done a custom tribal for my sister. Both turned out amazing, so I knew I could trust him to make me proud of my art again.

We went into the tattooing room, and he set up his equipment and put the machine together right in front of me so I knew everything was sterile. Imagine my surprise when he turns on Duran Duran! They're my favorite band, and I never expected him to like them as well! (He got bonus points for that, trust me!)

Since the "dentist" type chair would have made tattooing my upper back rather hard to reach, he had me just sit backwards on a regular chair. It was okay though, because it gave me something to rest my arms/head on since he needed me to lean forward pretty far.

I forgot how annoying that stupid gun is when it's right next to your head. Urgh. He did the inside part first, outlining the edges of the black and then shading in the middle. It didn't really hurt until he hit the small patches of scar tissue along the edging. People always said that tattooing over scars hurts worse, but I didn't really pay much attention because I figured it couldn't be much worse than tattooing over plain skin. Trust me, pick a good tattooist right in the beginning, so you don't have to have touch up work. Your senses will thank you. It stung a bit too, but he wiped the area down often to clean up the excess ink, which felt heavenly.

It took about an hour total, because he went over everything twice to make sure that the ink would hold this time. He kept telling me jokingly that I was doing so good and that I was the perfect tattoo-ee. How sweet. I accidentally kicked him at one point, but thankfully he was refilling the ink and wasn't still holding a needle against my flesh! I recommend NOT shifting around while there's a gun to your skin. (Duh, how blonde could I be, right?)

Listening to my favorite band really helped. I just saw them in concert twice, so I sort of zoned out and just relived the moments of the concert while the music was on. If you don't think your artist has the type of music you like, take a walkman or something because it really does settle the nerves.

I'm extremely happy with my tattoo now. Jay Jay did a kick ass job of covering the old ink with new, and making sure that the purple was as rich and as vibrant as I'd imagined it. I wore a tank top and showed everyone at the bar, and actually flirted with them and made $50 in tips. I guess maybe re-working the tattoo was a gift in itself...I regained the confidence I never thought I had, and I found it in myself.