After completing my recent scarification, the desire for ink was blunted a bit - but definitely not withdrawn completely, and it's become a tradition to spend the first paycheck of the school year on some form of modification. I'd planned to get the beginnings of a half-sleeve in Edmonton, but miscommunication and time made that impossible; fortunately, on the Wednesday ride into Edmonton, the local shop called to mention they'd had a cancellation - and would I like to make an appointment for Saturday? I would. This seems to be a common theme for my tattoos; whenever I need one, there's time available, even though previously they were booking into, say, November.
At A Glance Author Nyx Contact Nyx@bme.anon IAM nyx When It just happened Artist Jerry Studio Dragonheart Tattoo & Piercing Location Lloydminster
In any case, I accepted and went in to pay the deposit the following day, dropping off some art and discussing size with the counter girl. I had originally planned on a lotus, on my right hip - but after the lotus scarification, I felt I'd dealt with that symbol sufficiently for now. Because there's already a green sigil representing the Beloved on my left hip, I wanted a symbol representing myself on my right one; not literally myself, but my bloodline, my family line, balancing out the one with the other. The lotus, symbol of enlightenment, was definitely not a symbol of my ancestors - whether spiritual or physical. However, another flower might suit. The poppy, symbol of underworld entry and abrupt exit, clouded reason and intuitive defense was eminently symbolic of where my soul comes from, if not my body - and, come to that, my father figure earlier in life was my 'poppy', in the absence of my biological father, so there was a sly little double-meaning which I somewhat enjoyed. I managed to find some line-art online, and took it in, as I mentioned before, and enlarged it to several times the normal size of a real poppy to satisfy my tastes.
Of course, as is usual, the day of the appointment found my stomach churning and my nerves on edge; before any modification, I always feel tense...this generally settles out by the time I'm in the studio, or at least so I hope - otherwise, I find myself knocking over display cases and artists alike. I showered, scrubbed, dressed, and found myself down at the shop a bit early. I'd thought to complete the tattoo today, but the artist told me that he wanted to do just the outline; he said he didn't want to wipe black ink into fresh red tattooing, because it would fuck up the red. I was a bit disappointed, but acquiesced, since I have enough trouble holding red without adding mixed ink to the worry. We went in and went over placement a bit; it's too large, and I too 'curvy' to allow for the original placement on the front of the hip, so I put it more towards my flank, over the curve of the side of the hip instead. Placement complete, the ink began - except I had forgotten one thing.
As my lovers have observed, I am extremely sensitive on my belly and hips; not so much on the front, where skin crosses bone [and where the green sigil lies], but heavily so on the sides and where thigh meets skin. I had completely forgotten this...but I remembered it again when the needle hit flesh. Quickly. I couldn't stop my thighs from twitching, and apologized; laughing, the artist noted that no flower in the world is geometrically perfect, so it really didn't matter if I twitched a bit here and there, though I certainly felt guilty about it. He also mentioned I'd not be ticklish again after he was finished - benefit or cost? In any case, he went over the black outline of the stamens in the centre of the flower, and then the red outline of the petals; I wished no black outline on the flower itself, but shading to indicate the form and flow of the image, as the gateway to the underworld is more indistinct than delineated. I tried to breathe through the pain, and failed; chanting the name of the Beloved was the only thing that helped, using the drawn-out syllable to transpose myself to the other side of the needle and the needle's cut. I'd made a [personal] mistake by eating and sleeping well, as a matter of fact - I usually use the lightheadedness to easily transcend the pain of tattooing, but was unable to climb the high as well with a full belly and an empty head. Never mind. And take note that my dangerous method of trancing during tattooing could result in unconsciousness or shock; I know some of my body's limits in this case, and I'm confident in those lines.
The outline was finished quickly and bandaged occlusively with Saran Wrap and Micropore tape; I dislike this style of bandaging, as I find it moves around too much and rubs on the tattoo, but I decided it wouldn't hurt for now. We made an appointment for me to return in 15 days, by which time the outline would be healed and no more black ink necessary, so no harm to the red shading. I'm considering adding a dark purple around the black centre - I'll have to see how it looks with the finished red.
As of right now, ten hours later, it feels fine; I've removed the bandage, washed it with Dial, and put on a layer of Lubriderm, and that's my entire care regimen. It's warm, as they all are when new, and I find myself wondering if this, like the green sigil on the opposite hip, will give me a twinge now and then - to remind me to listen, I suppose. I would expect no less from the dreaming flower.