It was a nice sunny day in August, a Sunday to be exact. I had been debating this whole experience for about a month. Coming from the area I'm in, this type of thing was something u just don't have the opportunity to see, let alone participate in. So spiritually it was a big decision to make.
At A Glance Author KimBerLy Contact KimBerLy@bme.anon IAM ModifiedDreamer21 When A year ago Artist Nathan Mckay Studio Almost Famous Tattoo & body piercing studio Location Fort Collins, Colorado So after a day of anticipation, I did all I was told to do. "Eat a good meal" and "drink lots of water" also to "drink some orange juice" like an hour before hand. I admittedly had a bit of a fight with a boyfriend of the time. He totally disagreed with me doing this. So being the rebel I am, I choose to go on with it.
I watched one of the tattoo artist go up before I went up. By this time I was a little anxious. He looked like he was going to pass out, a tad bit green in the face he was. So I started to doubt myself, all the while telling myself that it was an opportunity of a lifetime! The pain factor came into my head rarely, it was kind of the last thing i was worried about. I have quite a high pain tolerance due to a past accident. Which I may add was a lot of my motivation, because after you experience pain at its worst and its not voluntary, then how bad can voluntary pain really be?
So after about 3 minutes watching the tattoo artist go up, he came down and didn't look so hot. So with that I took it and thought " I can totally show him up". My goal was to be up longer than that. Even if for 2 seconds I would be happy.
So the room cleared for everyone to smoke and mingle and this became my moment of truth. Was I ready? OOH yea I was totally ready. I went back into the piercing room with Nathan and his apprentice at the time. I lay face down on the chair as he marked the right placement for the hooks. My weight played a factor so he placed the hooks a little bit further out on my shoulders for comfort. By this time I'm totally nervous. After he marked the spots, I stood up so he could make sure they wee straight. I took a look in the mirror to kind of get the "before and after" effect in my mind. Then I lay back down for the Hooks.
As he cleaned the area once more with the cold paper towel, all I could think was ... Nothing... Just breath. Then came the first hook, not as painful as iI thought. It was about the same for the next 3, granted the outer hook placement hurt a lot more than the center. After all 4 hooks were inserted, came the more intense part of the piercing, slipping my skin to the bottom of the hooks where the skin would be pulling from. I have to say that it was mildly painful, but after all 4 were done, I stood up and from that point on it was a total adrenalin rush.
I took my first look in the mirror at the hooks and loved it! I hugged myself to stretch the skin on my back out a little to heighten the feeling. Crazy how when something is stinging u do something to make it burn just a little bit more. I walked out into the main room, it was like floating. All I could do was smile. Then, as I stood below the hoist, I watched all the people around me watching and wondering. Being suspended in front of a huge window thats located on a main street was a rush in itself.
Finally, all the little ropes were secure and it was time to be hoisted up. One of the other tattoo artists pulled the chain slowly and slowly I felt the pressure. "UP, Up, and Away" I thought to myself. All I could think about was breathing. Slowly and deeply. Before I knew it I was 2 feel off the ground, breathing and basically high, literally. People around me asked questions and honestly I blocked a lot of them out, my main focus was the serenity. After about 2 minutes, Nathan turned out the lights and switched on a strobe light to take pictures. Meanwhile, opening the front door, which let in a huge breeze, that hit my bare back instantly. I opened my eyes to see what was going and and the strobe light gave the effect of floating in slow-motion, and the cold air add to the floating like i was a ghost in the room. People walked by and came in to watch, keep in mind this is something Very out of the ordinary here, and finally after about 4 minutes my stomach couldn't take it much longer.
So, I had them put me down. After being on my feet again I felt very relaxed, still in a euphoric state. The first time in my life i hung in a completely meditated state. I went back to the piercing room to have one last look at the hooks before they were removed. BEAUTIFUL! Then, I lay back down and out the came. Nathan kneaded the air out from under the skin, and it sounded like rice krispies (bet your hungry now) it was SOO cool. After a few band-aids I walked out of the room put on my coat n had a smoke. I stood proud after that, and can still say My first suicide suspension brought me confidence in myself. It taught me a lot about myself and who i am, how strong I am, and that possibilities are endless. You are truly as strong as you want to be and pain is only in your head.
So, with that experience under my belt, I cannot wait for my next suspension. Therapy in an altered state of conscience.