At A Glance
Author	Spacy
Contact	Spacy@bme.anon
IAM	Spacy
When	A week ago
Artist	MFC
Studio	Bournemouth meet, 7th August
Location	Bournemouth

My first suspension wasn't as good an experience as it could've been. It was a suicide and done mostly out of curiosity. I was stupid and thought it wasn't gonna be that big a deal, so didn't plan for it properly. I'd been out clubbing all night the night before, not had much sleep, and had forgotten to eat all day. The biggest needle I'd had through me before that was a 14g cannula. So I ended up passing out after the third and forth piercings, leaving it an hour or so between the hooks and going up, and then I didn't get off the floor, or if I did it was for only a fraction of a second, because it was so painful, my skin felt like it would rip and I felt all off balance.

I was determined I would suspend again one day though, but my confidence was knocked a bit. I went to other suspension meets, and every time I was there the buzz made me want to suspend again. I talked to a few people about it who encouraged me, and explained it wouldn't be like last time. About a year and a half later I decided I would, at the Bouremouth meet. Only this time I would plan it properly.

I decided to do a superman suspension. This was because I'd felt very off balance doing a suicide as it had pushed me forwards, so I'd gripped on for dear life to keep myself upright. Also, there's more hooks with a superman, so there'd be less pressure on the hooks. I thought I'd be able to fight less about going up with a superman too. I was worried a lot about the thigh and calve piercings, especially the thigh ones, as they looked really painful. I was also worried about the amount of piercings. A week before I was going to do it, a friend of mine, Robb, did a superman suspension too, and told me that the hooks on the thighs didn't hurt as much as I'd think. This comforted me slightly, but I was still worried about them. The skin ripping feeling worried me too, whether I'd be able to get through that, because last time I hadn't. I'd been told by a few people that it just feels like its going to rip, but it doesn't, but it was still something I didn't think I could get past.

The week before I was good and didn't drink any alcohol. Well, apart from one vodka, but we'll forget about that : ) I made sure I took lots of vitamins too, and kept myself healthy. When they day came, I was a bit worried that I wasn't feeling nervous. I wanted to feel scared, cause then I could only be pleasantly surprised. Whereas if I went into it with no fear at all, like last time, I could only get a nasty shock. Ree leant us some bodypaint before the suspension, and Emma, Sophia and Bec painted me cowprint. Well, apart from my back, which was getting hooks in. I'd also bought some pyjamas in advance, because I didn't want to suspend in my knickers, so Sophia cut holes in those for me. I finally got the fear a few minutes before I went in to get pierced, and smoked furiously. While talking too much : )

Another thing that I think had held me back with my last suspension, is that I hate showing negative emotion around people. Especially people that I don't know. So I don't like showing things like pain, or unhappiness. I especially don't cry. Ever. I think I might have been able to go up on my first one if I'd have known people better, so could've shown how much it hurt, but still done it, instead of giving up so soon. For this one, I made sure I had my friends all around me at the front, so even if I didn't know people in the crowd, I had my friends there holding my hand, and pretend it was just them there. It was good that I'd know the people piercing me better too. And I am a lot better with emotions than what I used to be. Though I was still scared of crying, but I told myself if it happened, let it happen. I told the photo people that if I cried, they couldn't take photos, and that it never happened.

Vampy and Nick had discussions with me beforehand about the ropes, and how it would be best if they pulled me up quickly so that I couldn't argue, and didn't get stuck like last time. Which was a good idea. I did a chest pull a month or so ago, and it made me realize that the skin hurts lots when its first pulled, but as it stretches out gradually you get used to it, the pain goes and it feels nice. So they decided to pull it out slowly, till it was just at the point where I'm about to go up, then pull me up quickly.

My friends came in with me to get pierced (Sophia, Emma, Dina and Vicky) . Sarge and Vampy did my piercings. They did them in tandem, piercing at the same time, starting at the top, the other the bottom. They used 3.2mm (8g) needles, and 3mm hooks, which is the biggest needle I've ever been pierced with. Though it wasn't as bad as last time when I was pierced with 2.4mm and stretched to 3.2mm. I found it easier that they went in straight away. They followed the hooks with the needle, so I didn't even feel them go in. I was expecting them to go back and put them in, and when I looked the hooks were already in! That was a nice surprise. The piercings didn't hurt as much as I thought they would, though they did hurt quite a bit. I held Sophias hand lots. Breathing really helped too. I thought that breathing in and out wasn't for me before, but lately I've found it really helps. The weird thing was that every time I got pierced it made me giggle hysterically. It was a really weird effect it had on me. But fun :)

Next came going to the rig to get hooked up. I decided not to have a break between the two, so that my adrenaline was still there. I really wanted a cigarette, but was told it probably wasn't the best of ideas because of reduced blood flow and raised blood pressure and stuff. I lay down face first on a camp bed, and Vampy hooked me up to the rig. Which hurt a little, but not loads.

I was so scared of the next bit, but was told it'd be fine. My going up music went on, Rank 1 – airwaves. Sophia and Emma held a hand each and Dina was there too. Wormy and Simong pulled the ropes up, stretching my skin slowly. It hurt at first, then started to feel nice. Then they pulled me quickly up, which was good cause I didn't have time to fight, and that hurt a bit but not as much as I thought. I clung onto my friends hands for dear life, I think I stuck my finger nails into poor Emmas hand! I couldn't believe it that I was up, because although it hurt, it didn't hurt as much as I thought. It was such an amazing feeling that I was up! I was so glad that I'd finally got over everything and done it. I was told that my hand holders weren't supporting any of my weight, but I still couldn't help but grip onto them for a bit, gradually loosening my grip over time. I was still giggling lots to, I could not stop giggling at all! So much for being scared of crying :) It was such a good feeling, I felt so alive and free.

I'd thought when I'd made my suspension CD that I'd only be up a few minutes, maybe time for 1 or 2 songs. I'd told them when they put the CD on to skip to track 7 after track 1, because the second track was happy hardcore and I didn't think it'd be chilled enough. But I was in such a happy bouncing mood I told them to put it on anyway, cause it suited : ) I had a cigarette in the air, but had to be helped to smoke because I couldn't move my arms yet, it felt uncomfy when they weren't holding my friends and dangling. But eventually I could move them enough to smoke my myself, and it was comfy. It was also hard to drink too, I never like to be too far from water. First they lifted my front up a bit to drink, but then someone got me a straw :) I gradually got more confident and swang from side to side. It was so comfortable up there, and felt so nice. It was best when my front was slightly higher than my back, as I didn't like the pressure on my leg ones as much. I chatted loads of rubbish too, because I was all excitable. I giggled lots more too. And chatted to my friends : ) Vicky kept trying her best to collect my cigarette ash on a paper plate too as I was swinging. Swinging felt so good, I kept nearly swinging into the wall : ) Part way through Simong swapped and Alex held my ropes. Which was cool. Something that made me smile lots was when Ree brought me a packet of cow biscuits when I was in the air and said I could eat them afterwards. That made me grin loads :)

I was a little disappointed that I didn't go off into my own space and have a chilled out experience as others do....Cause I was wondering what my special place is like. But then I really really liked the way this one turned out, so maybe its worth it I'm not a chilled sort of person. I thought I wouldn't register the crowd much, but I could, and talk to people in it too :) I actually quite liked the people, I felt like a star or something when the photo people took photos, it was a weird feeling.

I stayed up about an hour, and heard my whole CD. My poor rope holders hands were hurting! I'd have happily stayed up longer, but my skin was feeling a bit odd to me, and my hands were freezing hold, so I decided it was best to come down. I came down to William Orbit – Barbers adagio for strings, cause it's the perfect ending song. They played it on Kevin and Perry when they got thrown up on and had to go home. It hurt a bit when I was down, because I had tingles in my leg, like when a feeling comes back in an arm or leg after its gone to sleep, it hurt a bit. I felt so chilled though once I was down. I think I even stopped giggling :)

Next I went in to have my hooks out. I lay on the table and Nick instructed my friends on how to do it. I was a bit scared about them doing it in case it hurt, but it was lovely in the end because it didn't hurt loads. Only 1 thigh one hurt, and that was more me anticipating it than anything. They massaged my back and legs with technicare. Emma's hands looked like they had afterbirth on them, which was funny :) They also tried to squeeze out the air bubbles, but I didn't have any. They them cleaned me with triogene.

Afterwards I felt so quiet and chilled, I just had to get something warm to wear(I went very cold) and sit and chill with my friends. It was weird cause last time I was giggly afterwards and hyperactive. This time I was tired and chilled, but it was a really nice feeling. It did bleed a bit afterwards, and my camp bed had lots of blood on it when I woke up the next day. But they're healing ok now. I felt a bit achy 2 days afterwards until 4 days after, but not now (a week later). The calve ones have bruised, but they don't bother me much, just look cool :)
I've felt so happy and chilled the last week. I keep smiling when I think about it. I feel so chilled and any stuff I had bothering me in my mind doesn't matter. Its weird how it has that much of an effect :) Thankyou to everyone that made it happen :)

I am sooooooooooooooo doing it again, and again, and again :)