On Longest Night, 2006, my Manindocs handed me an envelope. Inside was a gift certificate to Lucky Devil Body Piercing. The certificate read, "Two labia piercings".
At A Glance Author girlndocs Contact girlndocs@bme.anon When A month ago Artist Chuck Studio Lucky Devil Body Piercing Location Seattle, WA
Back in September, Manindocs, who controls me and my body as part of our power exchange relationship, had taken me for my first genital piercing (a triangle, which I wrote about for BME). He was so pleased with it that he decided almost immediately afterwards I'd also be getting labia rings. I wasn't enthusiastic, but when something's slated as a plan for "one of these days" it's easy to ignore. Which I did, for two months, until I opened the envelope.
Aw, shit. Typical sadist, wrapping up the "treat" of having my privates skewered and handing it to me as a present. Funnily enough, somehow that did make it feel like a treat: the opportunity to once again have my body changed into something more pleasing to him, and the affirmation that he does make the choices about how my body is altered.
Every once in a while over the next few months M and I would say to each other, "We should get it together to go down and get those labia piercings done," (or, if it was me: "We should get those labia piercings over with"). But somehow it was May before an appointment was made. At that point, I couldn't ignore it anymore; I was scared about these piercings.
We'd chatted about it with Chuck the last time we were at LD, and she assured me that I'd be fine. "Nothing is worse than a triangle!" Ha. Thanks for not telling me that before the triangle! The labia piercing freaked me out, though. Maybe it was having two stabs instead of one. Maybe it was that my outer labia look a lot meatier than my triangle to me. Maybe it was the lack of blissful ignorance now that I've experienced one genital piercing. I don't know, but I had difficulty coping with the whole thing almost from the start.
I was pretty blithe when I wrote about my triangle, describing how I conquered my fear and had an experience free from it. The only problem was, none of that stuff was working this time. I practiced my relaxation and breathed through the little spurts of panic that I got whenever I thought about it too much, but by the time we got to LD and I was on the table I was flat terrified. My fear of the piercing itself was compounded by the unique sensation of knowing that I wasn't making the choices here, feeling events unspooling at M's direction and under his control, not mine.
M held my hands and leaned his face in close to mine while I tried unsuccessfully to breathe myself into a deep state of relaxation. Aware that I was having a hard time, Chuck reminded me that nothing would happen until I was ready and that we would take as much time as we needed. She sat between my legs waiting with the utmost patience and her presence was utterly calm and reassuring without intruding on M's role as my primary connection. I was focused exclusively on him at this point, and she was completely respectful of that; it helped a lot, not having to split my focus between two people.
I breathed until I realized that I wasn't going to get any more relaxed, and we should probably just do it in case I lost the tenuous grip I had on my calm. I whispered to M that I was ready on 3, and he relayed it to Chuck. Time did that strange slowing-down thing again, but it was much harder for me this time because I was suppressing the impulse to say "stop!" I knew that I could; I knew that Chuck wouldn't pierce me if I did. This made it harder for me, because I knew I could put the brakes on the whole thing in those last moments, but that ultimately it would just prolong the experience for me -- because if I didn't get pierced that day, M would bring me back another day.
I don't think it was actually easier than my triangle piercing. I think they were pretty comparable. M says I arched my back and grunted. Chuck gave me a second to breathe before she inserted the jewelry, which also hurt, and then I lay still for a few minutes, was praised and kissed by M, and waited for my endorphin rush to kick in. When I felt the buzz, I let them know I was ready to get labia number two over with, and breathed to the count of three again.
Motherfuck! That one was worse. I'd been ready for it to be easier than the first, because it was on my "less sensitive" side and I had the nice cocktail of endorphins, but it had an extra hot-sharp intensity to. This time I yelled a little. Miraculously, though, the jewelry insertion didn't hurt a bit, and I smiled with sheer blissful relief. "Well, there's something happening down there she likes," M told Chuck, and I had to explain that I was smiling about what wasn't happening.
Done! No more pain! Whee! Hard candy, mirror (they looked HUGE, and I wasn't sure I liked quite so much metal down there, but M was thrilled with them), underpants gingerly put on and boots re-laced, thank-yous and tipping and goodbyes. Learning from the triangle piercing, M had made sure to park very close to the studio entrance. I was definitely sorer than with my triangle on the way home, at some points even peaking into "I don't know if I can stand this" territory, but it soon subsided to a dull throb.
My labia stayed sore for longer than my triangle had, and this had an interesting effect M and I referred to as "having my head between my legs". For several days at least, the new rings, the piercing experience, and its context in my relationship with M were prominent enough in my mind that I had trouble focusing on other things. Each twinge made it impossible to forget, and I went through some intense emotions during that period. I felt stripped down and vulnerable; I experienced the new rings with mixed feelings and sometimes I felt resentful or wished I could take them out. M was patient and understanding throughout.
Pragmatically speaking, healing has been straightforward – I used saltwater soaks whenever I had discomfort and M put me into an immaculately clean hot bath each night for the first week or so. Also, in the first week, I used my urine to flush the piercings each time I peed and then rinsed with warm water. I waddled for 5 days, sat carefully for 10 days and wore skirts for 2 weeks. I had a bump with pus about 4 days out, but it resolved quickly and there wasn't any sign of the piercing itself being infected. At about the 10-day mark the itchies set in; emu oil helped with that. 4 weeks out, now, I can forget they're there sometimes.
And somehow, magically, at about the same time they stopped being sore on a daily basis, the rings turned into something I like just as much as he does and something I feel like smiling every time I see. The mixed feelings have resolved into purely positive ones for the rings that remind me they're there because he wants them there.