When I was a teenager, I was sexually abused by one of my sister's friends. It left me with very low self-esteem and a deep hatred of my body, in particular a disgust of my reproductive organs. In October 2001 I got a vertical hood piercing, which was a very pleasant piercing experience, easy to heal and a pleasure ever since. I began to think about getting more genital piercings – after all they are nicely invisible to most people, and my first genital piercing had been such a positive experience. I asked around some women on IAM, and looked at experiences on BME, and came to the conclusion that a pair of inner labia piercings would be right for me – a similar kind of thin tissue as the hood, and not as chunky and exposed as the outer labiae.
At A Glance Author Titanium Angel Contact Titanium Angel@bme.anon IAM titanium_angel When Three months ago Artist Julie, supervised by Gizzi Studio Cold Steel Location London (Camden), UK I went to my regular piercers, Cold Steel in Camden, for the piercing. It was to be an apprentice piercing, performed by Julie, who has done around 10 piercings for me over the last two years, under the watchful eye and guidance of Gizzi. Because it was Julie's first labia piercings, and because I am a regular customer, I got the pair of piercings for £10 including jewellery (1.6 x 10mm ice blue titanium BCRs), and a free bottle of provon to clean them with, a real bargain. I signed the usual release form – saying that I am over 18 (no ID needed as I am over 22, though I always have my driving license with me just in case), that I had not drunk alcohol or taken drugs in the previous 24 hours, I had eaten and slept well, and that I didn't suffer from various medical conditions. I was then given my aftercare sheet to refer to during the healing period.
I went up to the piercing room – this one has a skylight where you can look out on the clouds floating overhead, a good relaxing experience. While we were waiting for Gizzi to come up, Julie talked me through the procedure, the practicalities and the aftercare. When Gizzi arrived, we got going. I removed my underwear and my boots and socks – I was wearing a long skirt, preferable since I don't like feeling too exposed! Meanwhile, Gizzi helped to calm my nerves with amusing stories of her labia piercings getting entangled at the most inopportune of moments... I got up on the paper-covered piercing bench and assumed the smear test position – legs bent, feet together, knees as far apart as they will go. Its actually not too uncomfortable to hold that position for a fair while, which is good as paired labia piercings take some time to do.
The marking was a fairly long process. I would guess it took well over half the total time. It was very odd indeed having two women peering at my private parts, discussing my anatomy and drawing on me. Apparently I have quite small inner labiae, so it was quite an effort to place the piercings. I would add at this point that I would have been really disturbed by this had it been my first genital piercing, and indeed had it been my first apprentice piercing. Having had prior experience of both gave me some idea of what to expect. I even found the discussion part quite surreal and amusing.
The piercings were staggered so that they did not bash against each other, I seem to recall that the left was slightly in front of the right. Starting with the left labia (because it was the farthest from her, and thus easier to do first), Julie clamped the area, pulled it out (a slightly painful but by no means entirely unpleasant sensation) and lined up the needle. She made me take a big breath in, and then as I breathed out, she pierced it. I find that if I really make an effort to empty my lungs on the out breath, it helps to get me through the pain really well. I pulled what I am sure was a priceless face, but no screaming or swearing – as with my hood, it was a sharp pricking pain, and over quickly. The needle was corked then the jewellery was put in, and as a lovely tingling sensation set in, Julie started to prepare for the second piercing. Same procedure – clamp, pull out, line up needle, big breath, sharp pain, funny face, cork, jewellery in, and its done. Ju st a little while to recover, then I was up, getting dressed again, and on my way out to meet my poor long suffering boyfriend who had been waiting patiently outside the shop – the piercing had taken a little longer than I thought it would... I think I was in the shop for just over an hour in total, which included time for paperwork and a little waiting around while things were fetched out ready.
The piercings didn't bleed at the time, but they did bleed a little afterwards, I just got into the habit of wearing a pantyliner to soak up any blood. I noticed blood mostly after urinating, so it may have been dislodged/dissolved scab from earlier bleeding rather than fresh bleeding. It wasn't too much of a problem. The piercings were more painful than the hood was – I suppose the hood is in a bit more of an out of the way position, the labiae are more likely to get caught or snagged when sitting down, crossing one's legs, or walking. Often they tucked themselves up neatly anterior-posterior within my outer labiae, but sometimes the rings moved to a transverse position and then it was more uncomfortable, it just felt a little... overcrowded... down there, for want of a better word.
I cleaned the piercings in the shower daily with a little bit of provon, worked through the piercing and rinsed off very thoroughly. I also took baths with pure sea salt and lavender oil added, which helped in the healing process. As with the clitoral hood, the aftercare really is quite easy, and the healing period is very brief.
After about two weeks, I tried the piercings out sexually... my partner decided to pull on them – a lovely sensation, but I fear ill-advised. A stinging feeling afterwards suggested that the right one had torn slightly. I considered stretching the piercings up to a thicker gauge (2.4mm was going to be my limit) but decided to monitor the state of affairs for a little longer before making the financial investment in stretching. The right one in particular continued to be a problem. It felt very precarious, partly I suspect due to the small size of my labiae and hence fairly shallow piercings (8mm deep I think), and partly due to a bit of migration after that tear.
I agonised over what to do. I hated the thought of retiring piercings, I was terrified that Julie might take it as a personal slight to her work, but to be honest, the piercings weren't working out for me. I wanted to be able to ride my bicycle again – walking around doing chores is such a time-consuming pain by comparison, but with those precarious little piercings I felt I couldn't risk cycling. I discussed my dilemma with some friends, and eventually came to the decision that I would remove the problematic right labia piercing in the first instance. A couple of days later, I decided that I didn't like the asymmetry, and I really did want to be able to cycle again – so I retired the left labia piercing as well. I'd had the piercings for about two months. I kept cleaning the area with provon for a couple of days afterwards, and then I just left it alone. You can barely see any evidence that the piercings were ever there.
There was another reason behind the retirement of my labia piercings – more of a mental issue, and to my mind even more important than the physical discomfort. When I got my labiae pierced, I convinced myself that they were remarkably significant in terms of reclamation of my body after the abuse I suffered as a teenager. However, the more I thought about it after the event, the more I realised that in fact it was an easy way to make myself sexually untouchable on the tenth anniversary of the first sexual assault I suffered – the day after I had the piercings performed. I was extremely deeply affected by the anniversary, and was not thinking straight at the time. It occurred to me that I had my labiae pierced for entirely the wrong reasons, and this contributed strongly to my decision to retire the piercings after about two months.
I personally cannot regard something done for negative reasons as being beautiful. In future I shall be even more careful to ensure that my piercings are done for positive reasons and will have good feelings attached to them. As a past self-harmer, I came to recognise this distinction – pain for the sake of pain and negativity is not the same as a creative experience. My labia piercings may not have lasted very long, but they were a huge learning experience for me, and made me realise that it is very important to carry out modifications with a clear head, so I know that I am doing them for the right reasons. There is no shame in waiting, or even changing one's mind, it's preferable by far to doing something you come to regret later on. That said, there is something to be said for learning from your mistakes as well. That really hit me in when I realised that the mental and physical liberation of removing my labia piercings gave me more joy than the adornments themselve s did.