Four on the floor

At A Glance Author Linda Vargas Contact Linda Vargas@bme.anon Artist Jason Studio Obscurities Location Santa Barbara

I had made up my mind to have my inner labials done long before getting my hood repierced by Jason in the fall of last year; I knew when I was ready, I'd make the call. So on a sunny Tuesday afternoon, I found myself driving the 70+ miles to Obscurities (I live in a small, conservative town- a place wherein I would not trust anyone to pierce me, anyway!) both scared and excited about my new acquisitions. When I called to make the appointment, the girl said 'Whoa! Four?' And I just smiled and said, 'yep. Four ten gauge cbrs.' She said she'd pencil me in and thought they had the right jewelry. When I finally got there (ok, I was getting a bit nervous), I met once more with Jason, owner and piercer extraordinaire. We chatted for a bit, he brought out three different sizes of ss cbrs, and after choosing he went to set up. I went to the can for the 3rd time (was it nerves or the two Cokes I'd slammed on the road? ;) ).

The room wherein he does the piercings is extremely clean, well lit and pleasant. I dropped my drawers, and for what seemed like the next hour, he cleaned the area, made the markings, changed his gloves three or four times as we BS'ed about taxes. I checked out the markings, said, let's go! and that was it. The most painful part of the whole procedure was the hard pinching of the forceps. When he first set them on, I had to breathe deeply and kind of grab onto the underside of the table. The fear went away, though, strangely, and at that point I just wanted to get it over with. I knew damn well the piercings could not hurt as much as the forceps did! He changes his gloves again as I lie there with those damn forceps attached to my labia. Flat on my back, I stare at the celing, I don't know why, I've never watched any of my piercings being done. 'Ok, now, take a deep breath' (and then I remembered Jason's Quirk-TWO deep breaths before the needle), obediently, I made a big deal out of my breaths, 'Ok, another, and let it... out.' PINCH. 'No problem.' He reports.

The rest were similar, and again, he changed gloves several times, but by the time he got to the last one, I was ready to kill one of us either over the forceps or the Two Breath Rule. 'Ok... all done,' he pronounced. I was relieved and excited. I could already feel the ring's weight on my labia. I sat up, looked down and although there was a little bleeding and my lips were swelling up fast & furiously, they looked wonderful. I sat there for a minute to chill, and then moved carefully off the table to retrieve my pants and the pad I had brought in anticipation of the bleeding. Tink, tink, tink... 'God!' I almost yelled 'This is so cool! I jingle when I walk!' and laughed.

Ok, so the laughter subsided somewhat after my first horrible peeing experience (later on that evening... delayed reaction, perhaps) that burned like someone had set a zippo to my privates. After a day or two of pounding fluids, this too was over. The bleeding was remarkably sparse and only lasted a day or so. I did, however, choose to live in sweats and boxers (no panties, thanks), to give the rings a chance to be as dry as possible. I use(d) Provon twice a day, soaked the piercings in a saline solution (per Ann Greenblatt's advice in Piercing Exquisite; Jason told me he didn't think it would make much difference, just do what I felt most comfortable doing.) and a month later... I'm just about ready for another pair in my inner & strongly considering starting with a pair in my outer.

Ha! Reading this, I sound like Pierced Polly the Perfect. Um... not quite. Let this be a lesson to ye! In an extraordinarily amorous moment I threw caution out the window and... (head hanging down) did That Which Is Verbotten without a condom. Yeeow!! I hopped out of bed and into the shower so fast my boyfriend's head spun. Gave a ... new meaning to the the phrase 'afterglow.' :@ The results of our Union (well, what else should I call it?) burned like hell and served as a momentarily uncomfortable reminder of the Evils of Exchanging Body Fluids Before Healing Time Is Over.

Happy to report, no infection resulted, boyfriend thinks the rings are sexy and at this point, sex does not result in me writhing in pain and squealing like a stuck pig for two hours after the Event. I can't stress this enough, ladies (and guys who are with women w/ new genital piercings): no matter how hot either of you gets, Don't Go There. LEAVE THEM ALONE. TRUST ME ON THIS ONE. I know I would have survived that evening without getting laid & having the piercing FAQ'ers waving their invisible fingers at me afterward!

Anyway, like I said, the pierce itself really nothing more than a hard pinch... the worse thing about it is the clamps er forceps. ;) My labia are almost completely healed, and I think it was in part because I have been avoiding tight fitting pants-- don't let 'em get twisted around! The 'procedure,' if you will, was a great experience, and can so far say that feeling the tugging and jingling just when I'm walking around is a lovely reminder of my labia and downright erotic. New Marital Aids, too! What fun! :D