At A Glance
Author	maudee
Contact	maudee@bme.anon
When	A year ago
Artist	Brent Holmes and Jim Melotte
Studio	Avante-Garde
Location	West Allis, Wisconsin

A few months over one year ago I experienced my first genital body modification. A few months before that I wouldn't have believed you if you told me my future appreciation of it.

I was put off and afraid by extreme body modifications. Okay, I'll be honest. A 14 gauge ring through a penis or clitoral hood would have me grimacing. I fought against the philosophy some body mods have, I absolutely closed my mind to the idea that a body modification could be healthy and have positive effects on someone's esteem and life. I was so very wrong.

I met my current partner and couldn't have been more at odds with myself. She's beautiful in mind and body, stable, healthy. Plus she has a number of extreme body modifications and genital piercings. After spending a short amount of time with her I let her know how intimidated I was by such things. Because I liked her so much, had such an immediate and clear connection with her, I listened to her expreriences with such an open mind and heart. I let her tell me the truth about it all, which is something I like I had always barred before. I used to only hear what I wanted. I would only hear my twisted misconceptions manifested in someone's speech.

But not this time. Not this girl...

Jump ahead a few months. We researched, we studied, we spoke with her very intelligent group of friends and decided on Avante-Garde in West Allis, WI because Jim Melotte does his expert art there. He being a master piercer I felt that this would be safe and done very well. It most definitely was.

The day I walked into Avante-Garde for the first time was just dreamy. I'd spent alot of time determining this event. I was assured and finally thinking clear about my body. I knew what I wanted. I no longer felt that mods were discomfiting things but fantastic and sometimes beautiful expressions and affects of one's deep self.

The door opened, I was greeted well and discussed my options a little. I became at that exact moment unsure of whether I wanted the aesthetically pleasing Christina, or the sexy and satisfying clitoris. I chose the clitoris.

My turn came up, and so did my nerves. I spent the next ten minutes or more on the toilet. Returning red faced and so incredibly embarrassed I couldn't have been more surprised. Brent was incredibly understanding about my nervousness, even taking the time to recount some of the more funny things people have done due to nerves. I was calmed a bit by his smile and his attitude. I even felt pretty comfortable pulling my pants down around him as Jim arrived. That was the first time my pants were off with two men in the room, which really goes to show how fantastic these guys are.

I breathed deeply and steadily, gently closing my eyes, recounting the events leading up to this and what a positive change I had in such a short time. I felt really good about myself and that's something I absolutely never would have thought possible through a body piercing. But its so much more than a hole in my body. Its an improved part of my skin, and a greatly improved way of thinking.

Brent held the clamp on the most sensitive flesh of my body, my clitoral hood, and I opened my eyes to stare and take in this awesome event. Jim held the needle with his talented hands, the most calm and wise look in his eyes. He told me if I wanted to close my eyes now was the time. I didn't. I had to see my body affected in such a way. They instructed me of a three step breath system I would follow, the needle piercing on the third exhalation....well, they surprised me on the second.

Oh my, yes. There was a feeling of nothing more than a nerve twitch as they so quickly inserted the ring. The most painful part of it all was snapping the bead into place, and even that didn't really hurt. This piercing was alleviating a lot of pain I had caused in my own deep self anyway.

"There." Brent said.

Yes, there, I thought. I cocked my head to the right side, as usual, moved my legs a little to try to make the ring move. It did and I smiled. I never thought my genitals were ugly before this moment, but now I found it all very pretty. Kind of unusual and beautiful.

This was a much needed step in my life. I most fully realized in this experience my fear of myself was always in account. No, I was never afraid of the extreme mods or an unusual piercing, I wasn't afraid of the delusional mental health idea I pinned on it. I was uncomfortable with myself for wanting such a thing and never letting go of my narrow mind. I was afraid of how good it might all feel to me, I was afraid of how much of it I really empathized with.

I was afraid of me. That's sad, and that's pathetic. Going and getting my clitoris pierced was one of the best things I've done in my life. It has allowed me to understand myself and my stupid old fears. And, of course, I think its really pretty. So does my girl.