Very conservative, WASPY, low-key gay male here.
At A Glance Author sailor Contact sailor@bme.anon When N/A Life has taken on a boring monotony lately and I needed to spice things up, too much time on my hands, etc. Between jobs, the boat is out of the water for the winter... I'm seen as very predictable and the "guy in the khakis and oxford shirt".
A bit over a year ago a buddy gave me a sealed sterile "do your own PA" kit as a gag gift - his theory was that I was the least likely person he knew to ever have a genital piercing. What he didn't know was that as soon as I opened the package my best buddy started stirring in my boxers. For years I had had a secret fascination with the idea of a Prince Albert piercing ...... Within seconds I was at full mast, luckily things subsided quickly and I joined in on his laughter at the "joke".
When I got home that day I considered giving it a shot but decided, after some online research, it probably wasn't a great idea to be poking a hole in my johnson in the middle swimming/beach season. The kit got thrown in a drawer and forgotten about.
Well, today I was cleaning dresser drawers out and came across the set - still sealed and well within the use by dates for the sterilizing.
Let me say right now - I have a decent amount of medical knowledge, both as to anatomy and sterile procedure. I would not suggest a novice try to do their own PA - but I knew I would never be able to walk into a studio and get it done.
Thought about it briefly and decided "what the hell...". Nothing to it really if you understand how things are put together and keep up with the after care.
Got out the trimmer and cut back the shrubbery and then took a nice warm shower,used the remnants of some surgical prep soap I had left from a hernia repair to get my best bud good and clean. Flopped down on my bed with supplies all within reach, spread a new clean kitchen towel over my balls/thighs and another over my lower abdomen.
Wiped my boy down with disinfectant, opened the sterile packs slightly, gloved up, and opened the kit the rest of the way. Redid the disinfectant. Lubed up the receiving tube and tried to insert it - that was not happening, my piss slit is rather tight. Decided to go freehand from the inside, slowly (and carefully) slid the piercing needle into my urethra, until a very slight downward motion showed it was just behind my dickhead and slightly to the left of center. Backed it up with a wad of sterile gauze and said to myself "here goes..."
Wasn't sure what to expect since I had read reports that said everything from a pinch to excruciating pain. I can honestly say the sensation was much closer to a bad pinch than anything else, guess I was lucky. As almost every guy who has a PA says - the sight of the needle through was HOT in a strange way.
Now for the jewelry...Set came with a CBR which I now carefully opened. Swabbed my boy down with some antiseptic - again. Still n more than a single drop of blood. Backed the ring up to the bevel of the needle and backed it through - the bleeding started once I had the needle fully withdrawn. Quickly got the bead in place and then let it bleed for a few minutes. HOT DAMN - I had a PA!!!
Next step was a dressing with sterile gauze, some medical tape (which is why I trimmed)and then an inside out latex glove held on with some more tape. Got up at this point and caught a look at myself in the dresser mirror with an inverted rubber glove hanging over my well bandaged schlong - and thought "hmm,maybe a cow costume for Halloween..."
All in all, so far, no real pain, more a mild discomfort. I have changed the dressing several times, the bleeding was relatively strong for the first few hours. The biggest problem I encountered was the blasted glove/dressing moving around in my boxers. That lasted about 1/2 an hour and then I dug out a jock - much better. I would suggest tighty whities, a jock or similar to anyone getting/doing this. Also, if you run into pain/discomfort avoid aspirin and ibuprofen, both may act to promote/prolong bleeding. Stick to acetamenaphin (tylenol).
What I feared most was the first time I needed to piss - that was about 2 hours and once again I was surprised. Certainly not the extreme burning/tearing some guys experience - it actually felt good to piss and flush out the clotting blood in my urethra.
Definitely would not suggest that self piercing is for most guys but, so far, it's been a good experience for me.