At A Glance
Author	Stacey
Contact	whitburncutie@aol.com
IAM	Scottish Princess
When	A week ago
Artist	Self-pierced
Studio	At Home
Location	Scotland

DISCLAIMER: Before I begin my experience, i'd like to point out that the environment in which I carried out this piercing was far from sterile, and although the tools I used were sterile, there was probably some amount of contamination. Self-piercing is a hazardous thing to do, and although the modern piercing industry wouldn't be what it is today without people piercing themselves to find out what worked and what didn't, I would recommend you go to a professional artist who will pierce you in a sterile environment as this would be safest.
If you think you can do it yourself, then by all means go ahead. I did, and it would be contradictory to say not to do it yourself, but being pierced by a professional is safest as they know what they're doing. And lets face it, no-one's house is going to be as clean as a piercing room, regardless of the measures you take to try otherwise.

My story begins many months ago. I had been thinking about it for a long time, and after reading countless experiences of people who had pierced themselves from BMEzine, I decided that I wanted to pierce myself.

I thought this would be a very 'spiritual' experience, for lack of better terminology. I felt I would grow as a person, I don't understand why, but as a long term Self-harmer , and being in such a shitty place for the last 6 years of my life, I felt I needed to do something to mark the fact I was finally getting help for my depression and the cutting (something that had taken a lot of courage. I'd denied i'd had a problem with depression for 6 years, and i'd denied to myself and others that the cutting wasn't a problem for a little over 5 years. I'd hid it from those closest to me for so long i'd gotten used to wearing trousers all the time. Long sleeved tops are commonplace in my wardrobe. No-one comments about them anymore, which is a good thing, since i'm a terrible liar) So a piercing seemed the way to go.
I didn't want a stranger poking a hole in me that was meant to mark such a huge point in my life. I spent months deliberating on the whole subject, until I finally came to the conclusion that piercing myself would mean more to me, and would be personal enough to mark such a private mile-stone.

I spent more time deciding what I wanted to pierce.
This was slightly harder than deciding I wanted to pierce myself, as everything I wanted pierced seemed pretty dangerous. I had decided on Inner labial piercings, and was dead set on doing them, even though a lot of people had tried to talk me out of it.
I ordered the needles, the clamps and even EMLA cream ( to take the edge off. I've only ever had one piercing which was numbed, everything else, including my Vertical Clitoris Hood and my septum were done without any numbing agent) as genital piercings HURT and it was my first self-piercing so I didn't quite know what to expect.
A few days before my needles arrived I spoke to a piercer friend of mine about piercing my inner labia myself. He told me it was such a bad idea and told me that he'd even pierce them for me as long as I didn't do it myself. I trust him immensely so had to re-think what I wanted to pierce.

Jump a few days and my needles arrive, along with everything else, including my long awaited first BME t-shirt. I was so excited, but at the same time, equally nervous. What on earth was I thinking?? What on good God's earth had made me want to shove a 14g needle into myself? I had Play pierced before, with needles as big as 18g , but oh my, 14g is entirely different. And those needles were so intimidating!
Needless to say I was having second thoughts. BIG TIME!

I took my needles home and sat them under my bed. Where they sat for maybe a week.

I'd been doing more thinking. I have wanted snakebites for over a year, and a lip should be easy enough to numb with EMLA cream, right?
Having had my lip pierced twice already, I knew that it was barely more than a pinch, but I had also been told that off-centre lip piercings pinch more. I was a touch scared.
I know what I said earlier about being a cutter, I have some huge scars, but I was still afraid of the pain of piercing myself. That doesn't make sense at all. This is what I told myself.
I finally decided on piercing my lip on the left side. One half of the much sought after snakebites.
I re-searched the risks as much as I could.

Anyway, one night, about a fortnight ago, I was sitting on MSN speaking to a friend about the whole thing, and about how I felt a bit shit at chickening out. She told me not to be so silly, I hadn't to feel bad about being scared of shoving a needle into myself, but these needles were little more than one size up from the play-piercing needles we'd been using, and those hadn't hurt so bad had they? (In all honesty, they'd hurt way less than the little 22g ones had! Less of a nip and more of a blunt pain, which I can deal with) She kept encouraging me and building up my nerve until finally I felt like I could do this myself. I knew I had everything I needed. Long labret post, sterile needles, clamps, the lot.
I thought about it and thought "How bad could it really hurt?" "Do I have enough courage to do this?" But ultimately "How does the pain factor compare to how much I want this and how much it will mean to me?
The answer? Not much.

And so I set everything up, whilst telling my friend that although I won't reply, keep encouraging me.
On my desk I had my clamps (boiled. Not very hygenic but the best I could do) the sterile needle still in it's sealed packaging. Gloves (oh so many pairs of gloves!) and EMLA cream all on kitchen roll.
I put one set of gloves on and put a generous amount of EMLA cream on the outside of my lip. I sat like that for 30 minutes. I felt the outside of my lip with my fingers. It was entirely numb. The inside was still normal though. I decided to put some cream on the inside of my lip. (Be VERY careful when doing this, if you're going to be as stupid as I was and put it inside your mouth at all!) and held my lip out for ten extra minutes, careful not to let any go further in my mouth.

Ten minutes later I felt my lip, totally numb. It felt how your lip feels when you go to the dentist and get an injection in your mouth. That weird "oh man my lip is HUGE" feeling, when in fact, it is the same size it was beforehand.
So I got on with wiping the cream off completely. I could still taste it in my mouth though and let me tell you, you'd know if you swallowed some by accident as it is DISGUSTING!

So I took the cream off, changed my gloves and then thought "What now?"
My mind had gone blank my my stomach was somewhere in the region of my throat, threatening to pop out at any second if I so much as thought about taking the needle out of that little sterile packet.
It's amazing how long it takes for your lip to numb, but how little time it takes for the effects of the cream to wear off.
As I sat gazing wide-eyed at the tools I felt my lip starting to tingle, the first sign that it's wearing off and becoming normal again.

So I got on with what I was originally planning to do. Along with my friends encouragement (bless her she was still typing while I was staring blankly at everything and waiting for my lip to numb) and the whole panic that the EMLA cream was wearing off, I picked up my clamps. At this point, I would swear I actually felt my insides at the back of my throat, threatening to spill out if I so much as unclamped my teeth even the tiniest bit.
I unlocked the clamps (for lack of a better term) and put them round my lip. "I KNEW I should've gotten one of those pens to mark my lip with!" Too late now!
The clamps are on my lip and i'm sitting in front of the mirror trying to decide where the best point would be to pierce, to make it look how it did in my mind's eye.
Then I unwrap the needle.
This is all it takes for me to realise "It'll be an utter waste if you back out now, so you can't" and I feel more than a little bit green.

Looking in the mirror, with my lip clamped far too tight (something I don't realise since my lip is numb) and the needle in my other, very, very shaky hand, I put the needle up to my lip and sit there.
I sit and shake. The rational part of my brain is literally SCREAMING at me to stop, that it's NOT too late to back out, that I don't NEED to prove anything to anyone. Unfortunately, my pride squashes the rational part flat.
So, again I lift the needle in my very shaky hand up to my lip and sit there. Once I decide that it IS the place I want to pierce, I stick the point in so I don't go off and stop. I can't feel anything, I know I can't, but my imagination is telling me otherwise. It's telling me that the little point is VERY sharp and it's breaking my skin and oh it hurts!
Again this is squished by my pride. I WILL do this. I've gotten this far, i've done the hard part. I'm sitting in front of the mirror, shaking more than i've ever known myself to shake and slowly, very slowly I realise i'm pushing the needle through my lip. It comes as such a shock I nearly fall over.
'Holy crap, I AM PIERCING MY OWN LIP!'
You've no idea how that moment feels unless you've ever done it yourself. It's indescribeable.

I push a little harder until I see the point sticking out of the inside of my lip. At this point I am positively the colour of grass and shaking so much it's hard to take off the clamps. I push until the needle is a little under half-way through my lip. I somehow manage to take the clamps off very gently (even though my lip is still numb, I know any unneccessary disturbance will cause it to hurt more when it wears off) and sit, staring at my lip with this now HUGE needle through it.
There's no blood. I'm shaking.
So I sit, careful not to put my tongue near the needle or close my mouth, resulting in a lot of drool. I sit until i'm calm and i'm barely shaking. Then I lubricate the needle and attempt to push it through. This is when I realise that i've pierced it the wrong way, and that i'm not using cannulated needles, so i've cocked up and the jewellery will be the wrong way round. Nevermind. I put in a PTFE instead bar. Bad thing to do but I figure the extra bit of length will help until the swelling goes down and it's healed enough for me to change the jewellery.

So I take lots of photo's of my new piercing, (of which, only a few turn out decent. God bless Digital cameras though!) and tidy everything up.

A few days later and healing has been uneventful, apart from the fact I cannot stop playing with the bar. I know I shouldn't, but I do anyway.
I end up having to change the bar a few days after I pierce it.

Once I had gotten the long labret post in my lip, the swelling went down, I stopped playing with it so much and it's healing perfectly.

Sitting here two weeks on, my lip is barely sore at all, and i'm carrying out the LITHA method. This is working for me so far. I also believe that the needle I used caused less trauma to the piercing, which is why it's settled down so quickly.

This piercing is so special to me, I fell in love with it immediately, even if it is a bit further out than I would have liked. It marks such a huge period in my life, and proved to myself that I can do whatever I want to, if I set my mind to it.
It has been a huge confidence boost in that respect.
I adore this piercing, and it means so much more to me due to the fact I pierced it myself. I plan to pierce myself even more in future, but I also plan to try and keep my work area cleaner and more sterile, even though I didn't have any problems this time, I know I won't always be so lucky.

If anyone has any questions or comments, feel free to e-mail me, i'll be happy to answer them.

Again, I know this was dangerous, but I felt it was the best thing for me and it worked out beautifully.

Happy piercing!