In order to help the healing, I just had the bars on my piercings shortened from a 3/8" to a 5/16"; but truthfully the experience started July 1 of last year.
At A Glance Author ladyiconoclast Contact ladyiconoclast@bme.anon When It just happened Artist Eddie Studio inr nrg Location North Park/San Diego Two weeks before the lease expired in the house that I was living in, I left to go to my grandparent's 50th wedding anniversary. All of my possessions were already in storage, and my cat was being taken care of by a nice couple, casual friends, one of whom was an ex of one of my best friends. I knew that I would have no home when I returned, and I knew that I would also not be in a good mood. My mother's side of the family are religious to conservative christians, and I am transgendered. I was out to my parents at that point, though they were very much still coming to terms with it, so the entire trip was spent acting as if I was the same person that I was in years previous. I was not entirely mentally cohesive when I returned, and ending up crashing on the couch of the people who were taking care of my cat did not feel like a positive solution to my homelessness.
This was the state of my life when I had my piercings done. I have a good friend whom I have had many discussions with on the benefits and sociological aspects of body modification, and I felt quite ready to do some myself. I went into inr*nrg, as it was highly recommended by my former roommates, and also the closest parlor to my current location. Knowing full well the trope of piercer as body artist, I presented myself to Eddie as a willing canvas. I said that I wanted a piercing, but that I was not sure what I wanted. Eddie asked if I would be comfortable with a facial piercing, and I replied that I would. He studied my face, and suggested an anti-eyebrow. He removed a small curved barbell from its package and held it up to my face so we could discuss positioning. The idea came to me to have the piercing be placed horizontally, with one ball at the edge of my eye. Eddie held the barbell to my face, and I was certain. The forms were then procured and filled out as Eddie prepped the piercing room. We figured out an angle that I liked, and marked the spots on the sides of my eyes; basically, one ball is where the fold happens at the edge of my eyes when I squint, and the other is at the edge of my temples, to give an idea of placement.
The piercing itself was quite powerful. I otherwise have only earlobe piercings, so the entire piercing and healing experience was quite new to me. He talked me through it slowly, gave me water to relax, and discussed how a facial piercing will make people view you very differently. I trusted him, and listened to what he said, and agreed, again, to go through with the piercing.
Needles, then 3/8" barbells were placed in my face.
I was woozy for a bit, and sat down sipping water until I was ready to go. I thanked Eddie, and left to begin the healing process, promising to come back for at least monthly checkups. At some point I paid and tipped him, but I don't remember when, as it is not an important part of my memory.
I mark that day as one of the more important in my life, for that was the day that I begun making my body what I wanted it to be.
I have read other's stories of the power of body modification, but really had no idea of the psychological effect that mine would have for me. As I have stated, I am transgendered. I was "out", and dressed how I felt like it on every day where there were no commitments that necessitated otherwise (I am a student, and also out at school, so it is rare that I have to dress to conform). However, I still was extremely reticent to think about the reality of my body. From the period of time when I was first awakened to gender consciousness (my own pet terminology for that level of emotional hell) I did not think much about my body, as such thoughts inevitably led to profound sadness and depression, the likes of which I have no desire to describe here. Suffice to say I felt bad about my body, and my self.
My piercings helped to change that. My twice daily fifteen minute sea salt soaks, became twice daily fifteen minute meditations on my body. I used no formal technique, I simply began to think about my body in a real context: examining those parts of myself which caused me grief, and thinking how I could change my relationship to them. I thought about piercing my genitals, in order to modify them in a relatively inexpensive, yet possibly powerful way, but decided that drawing attention to them was definitely not what I wanted for myself at that time. My piercings functioned as a connecting point between myself and my body, as between Peter Pan and his shadow. It was the realization of the disconnection that was most painful, and the piercings helped me find a point to begin my reconstruction of self.
Seven and a half months later, I go in for my first checkup with Eddie in a number of months. The last few months have been quite difficult, as I have been preparing for what I call the beginning of my biological transition. I have now been on hormones for 42 days. I just now, while writing this, realized that today was day 42. The significance of that number is not unknown to me, and it does bring a smile to my face, this 'coincidence'. For me, hormones were a decision that I recently made, not a foregone eventuality. I decided to start them, waited the three months required by the endocrinologist (and the Harry Benjamin International Standards for Gender Dysphoria), and then was able to get my prescription and start this January. The hormones have led me through a tumultuous time of new and unpredictable emotions, accompanied at all times by large quantities of chocolate. This last week I again began focusing on my piercings, and called Eddie last Sunday to find out when he would be in, which returns us to today.
At the checkup, Eddie assesses the healing, and determines that smaller jewelry is needed. Eddie shortens the barbell, and he gives me the tips to reduce the darker tissue around the holes, which has come from both movement and my sporadic care regimen (itself harmed by the ups and downs of life as a TG person). I again thank him, and will go in next week for a checkup on how the shorter bars are working.
I return home again, confident that the healing continues.