I first became involved in body modification when I was nineteen years old. I was always afraid of the pain that would be involved, and the way in which others would react to me. I finally mustered up the courage however, and decided to get my cartilage pierced. Soon afterwards I had the Chinese symbol for strength inked on my lower back. I couldn't believe how much these two modifications helped increase my self-confidence and to feel for the first time that I was attractive.
At A Glance Author Maili Contact Maili@bme.anon Studio Andromeda, Primitive Impressions, Infinite Location NYC, Rochester, NY, Philadelphia Only a few months later I chose to get my left nostril pierced. I found that each new piercing helped me to feel like I had some control in my life. I've lost quite a few of the people closest to me in sudden deaths and have had other experiences in which I had no control in the outcome. Having the ability to chose to modify my body and my life was very special to me. Soon after I had my nostril pierced, I pierced my lobes myself, three times in each ear. In the spring I had my right eyebrow pierced. Although I was beginning to experience more and more negative feedback about my body modifications, I still felt proud of myself and of my body.
I am on my college's rugby team and during a tackling practice I received a concussion and had to go to the hospital. The doctor ordered a cat scan and it was evident that my jewelry had to be removed. I was of course very upset because at the time my eyebrow ring was only a week old and the hole would surely close up. I was treated very poorly by the x-ray technician, who informed me several times not only that "Its freaks like you with their bodies all full of metal that make my job difficult" but that she had a date at 9pm and she was going to leave whether I was stuck in the machine or not. I was very upset and did not want to remove my eyebrow ring, and was having great difficulty removing my nostril screw. Soon a 6'5, 300 pound tech was hovering over me, screaming "them rings needs cutting out, Miss" Luckily, there was a nurse on duty with several piercings. She immediately sympathized with me and told me how upset she would be if she were in my shoes. The techs were having a great deal of difficulty removing the cbr from my eyebrow. The nurse called her friend who owned a nearby piercing studio and the nurse was able to remove it. She found a small catheter tube, and inserted it into my eyebrow to retain the hole. However, the x-ray technician began to yell at the nurse telling her that she didn't like the way the catheter looked in my head. "But its made of plastic, it won't interfere with the test results!" cried my friend the nurse. " I don't care. Take it out now before I tell your supervisor" Out went the catherter tube and the hole closed up in roughly five minutes. I couldn't remove my nostril screw, so that was cut off with a large pair of wire cutters. (I still have nightmares about that.) At any rate after several more screaming matches with the x-ray technician I was able to go home. All in all I lost all my lobe piercings, and my eyebrow ring. My nostril partially closed, and I was able to replace the jewelry in my cartilage without much difficulty.
I was very upset about losing so many piercings. I felt as if my newfound sense of control had been ripped away. However I was able to re-pierce my ears and in a few I days I went to the local studio to purchase a new nostril screw. The woman dabbed a small amount of Vaseline on the end of the screw, and rammed the metal object into my nostril. The new screw came to rest against a nerve, causing me severe pain for several hours afterwards. I removed the screw and inserted a stud into my red, swollen nose. Unfortunately the studs kept falling out and becoming lost. Eventually I had nothing left but a small piece of wire, which I wore in my ear until I was able to return to the studio that had pierced my nose originally. The wire was smaller than the original screw, and my nose had partially closed. The man re-pierced my nose with some difficulty and much pain and, because he felt sorry for me, only charged me five dollars for the procedure and the new jewelry.
I am currently saving up to have my eyebrow redone, as well as both my nipples and possibly my labret. I am so happy that I chose to modify my body. It has helped me to feel not only more confident, but beautiful, unique, special, and proud.