Many people consider piercing a spiritual experience and I fully agree, but this particular one was exceptional for more than the usual reasons. I had recently gone to Provincetown, Mass. at the end of Cape Cod with some relatives who I've been living with. They kindly invited my girlfriend and I to stay for a night, so that we could explore P-town for the first time together, the biggest GLBT playground on the east coast. How could we turn that down?
At A Glance Author anonymous Contact anonymous@bme.anon When A week ago Artist Amiee Studio Piercings by the Bearded Lady Location Provincetown, MA I had heard a lot about P-town, and one of those things was the legend of the Bearded Lady and her piercing shop. Being a burgeoning baby butch myself, and a complete genderqueer, I couldn't help but be intrigued. So I took this visit as my opportunity to seek the Holy Grail of my Gay-dom.
My girlfriend and I went promptly to the shop, (as soon as we could find it; let me just say it's a little offset from the street, but un-ironically right in front of Vixen, the biggest women's bar there.) We were greeted warmly by Dawn, who was keeping shop while the other piercers were out. She inquired as to what we were interested in that day; I mentioned my girlfriends nostril needs and how I had been toying with the idea of getting my septum pierced. She was extremely helpful and patient, but I was slightly disappointed, because the Bearded Lady was nowhere to be found. But I stuck around and perused their jewelry selection (which was quite impressive actually) so as not to seem somewhat shady. I promised to come back and with smiles, we both left.
The most magical ride of my life began later that evening, at a very unexpected moment. The sun had just finished setting, and my girlfriend and I headed over to the docks for some classically horrible fried foods. She went to go wait on the line so we could partake of some fried dough and fish sandwiches while I stood a little ways behind. All of a sudden, out of the corner of my eye, I saw this being lumbering along. I turned to my right, and there she was, Amiee Joy Ross, The Bearded Lady herself, walking directly towards me, with her dog in tow. I must have looked like a dumb little kid at the circus, with my mouth wide open. It was like seeing Christ. I thought I saw her look at me, and I whipped my head away from her as soon as I felt my ears go red. She walked right behind me to the other order window, and I tried as hard as I could to keep collected, as she proceeded to jokingly harass the fish fryers behind the counter. Her personality was electric. Soon after my girlfriend noticed she was there and started to silently freak out in case I hadn't noticed. I solemnly nodded, wishing she would cease and desist before she became obvious.
Then I closed my eyes, just for a second,wincing at this headache I had been battling for a few days prior; and when I opened my eyes, there she was, The Bearded Lady, standing right in front of me, about to address me. "What your problem!?" she asked me. I probably stammered something about my migraine and turned a deep shade of crimson. The next thing I heard was "Do you want me to press your pressure point?" WHAT!? I thought to myself. Was I being propositioned by my idol?! Obviously she was actually talking about acupressure, which is like acupuncture, but just using pressure instead of needles to set off the meridians in the body. She asked for my hand and before I knew it, my body was surging with a dull pain, down my spine from my neck to my butt. But when she released me, I was free of pain entirely and felt like I could see more clearly. WOW. I had just had a chance meeting with the my version of David Bowie and she sought me out in a crowd full of people. What are the chances of that?
We left off with an exchange of names (which made me feel silly, because I already knew quite a bit about her), and her imploring me to come to her shop and get pierced. I shyly agreed and let myself reel for a bit over my encounter.
The next day, I happily greeted the rain, because that meant we would be spending more time in Provincetown instead of at the beach. We went promptly to the shop but between the number of cousins I had turning 16 and the volume of people there, my girlfriend and I decided to come back. We had a 7:30 ferry that night from the cape to Boston Harbor, so after eating an appropriate amount of carbs and protein at about 4:30, we were ready to go for the gold. I had stashed away a few cookies, in case anyone got woozy. This was to be my girlfriend's first piercing and I didn't want to scare her but I wanted to be prepared nonetheless. When we arrived in the shop, Amiee addressed me by name, which felt amazing. We went through the motions with Dawn, filling out the appropriate paper work, and picking our jewelry. My girlfriend chose an 18kt white gold star head nostril screw. After a little discussion with Amiee, she swayed me from getting too dainty a hoop for my nose. I debated over pincers, but figured I would rip them out in my sleep. She thought that although the septum is an intense looking piercing, my bone structure would lend well to a larger piece of jewelry. I think she was kindly saying that I have somewhat of a large shnoz, which is ok with me. It's true; I can handle that.
My girlfriend's moment in the chair, was comparable to getting a manicure. She was quite relaxed and with Amiee explaining the simple procedure, the cleaning and care while she worked on my girlfriend's nostril, it took all of 5 minutes. My lady was a trooper, indeed. But when it was my turn at bat, the atmosphere changed a little. If we judge this book by its cover, I should be able to eat glass. But on the contrary, I am the ultimate of all wusses. I got wicked fidgety, my blood pressure rose through the roof, and most of my body began to shake. I had heard from more than a few patrons of the body piercing arts that the septum in an especially poignant pain, excruciating even. So pardon me if I was a little freaked. I mean, I've got my ears gauged, my nostril pierced twice, my lip, numerous ear holes, and both my nipples. For me the whole thrill comes in the build up of anticipation. The actual poke never lives up to its bark.
Amiee set me up in a room with a table, which I thought was appropriate because of my tendency to faint. She started to clean my nose, with something that smelled a lot like mint and made all of the inside of my nose tingle like ice. I was praying there was a hint of lidocaine in whatever it was. At this point I was fiercely jacked up on my own adrenaline and my stomach was flying. She told me about the sweet spot in your cartilage where its extra thin, and that not every piercer can find it, or takes the time to do so, and that's why the septum can be very painful. So around the time that Amiee was marking my nose up, my eyes sort of rolled up to the ceiling and I mumbled "I can't do this." She didn't miss a beat, and tenderly cupped my face in her two hands and whispered "Yes, you can." These few words of encouragement, in my opinion, meant much more to me than just about my septum. I felt that she was encouraging to take on my everyday life; as a butch identified woman, a pierced soul, a hairy lady, that person that everyone stares at but no one sits next to on the bus. It really made the experience complete. She felt like a kindred.
When it came down to it, she really saw my fear, and prompted my girlfriend to hop up on the table and sit behind me. It was somewhat of a spectacle, with two women straddling me in one room and everyone outside looking in. My girlfriend was holding my hands from behind, when Amiee asked Dawn to change the radio station from the Hula music that had started to get on everyone's nerves. I was still commenting on how glad I was that she changed the music when she asked me to take my deep breath. She was really on point as a piercer, taking advantage of that moment when I was distracted to go for it. She asked me to exhale and before I knew it. SWOOSH. It was over. There was a bit of pressure as the needle stuck in my nose, but before the tears could even gush out over my cheeks, she had slipped in my 12g, 7/16diam curved barbell, and eased the pain already. She gently blotted me with a cotton swab for the very little blood that came, and then gave me the biggest hug of my life. It was a dream come true. I'm so glad I went through with it and truly know that if it had been with any other piercer, I would have backed out.
So, my advice to anyone thinking of getting their septum pierced or anything for that matter... is that beyond knowing that your piercer and shop are uber clean and professional, find out if your piercer has a good bedside manner. I mean, they're sticking a really big needle through you and you're paying them. They should know how to be a little compassionate, no?