At A Glance
Author	jesse
Contact	jesse@bme.anon
When	N/A
Artist	Jay
Studio	Better not say...
Location	Bristol, CT

May 13, 2004.

This is the story of a septum piercing gone horribly wrong.

It was a Thursday afternoon, and I decided that I wanted to take one last look at the tattoo shop I'd chosen for my first tattoo. (My appointment was on the following Saturday.) You know, I wanted to check around; make sure I was comfortable. I'd already seen the autoclave and read-outs, the bathroom, the back room, the art studio, etc.. but, I just had to take one more look before I took the plunge.

While I was looking around, the piercer, Jay, approached me. He asked, "So.. You don't like piercings, or what?" I said that that wasn't the case, I liked them, I just had a job where they couldn't be shown.. and I'm really only interested in facial piercings.

He said, "So basically you're some kind of pussy, huh? Hey guys.. let's pierce this bitch up good and proper." I kind of laughed, but I was still offended.

Now I know that I should have walked out the door right then and there. But, I didn't. I told Jay that if I ever considered getting more piercings, I'd pierce my septum.

He told me that he'd been piercing for about 6 years, and that it was the love of his life.. blah blah blah. He joked around with me, in the most crude and offensive way I've ever encountered by a "professional," but I just stood there and took it.

Finally, he says, "well.. go sit in the chair!" I said, "Heh.. no thanks. Maybe on saturday."

He replies, "ohhh, I won't be here Saturday, there's a tattoo convention. Tell you what, I'll do it for free."

This seemed reasonable to me, since the shop had just opened. Maybe he wanted to help get the word out..

You know, when someone tells you something, on average, you tell 3 other people.. who in turn tell three more, and so on and so forth.

Anyway, I reluctantly agreed. He said he's going to pierce at 14g, and I agreed once more. I watched him take out the barbell.. needle.. etc.. Everything was from fresh packages, and he changed his gloves several times. I started to get comfortable with the idea of finally getting my septum pierced, and I stopped sweating over it.

I told him that I wanted to take a look at it, and flip it up immediately. My initial jewelry was going to be a closed CBR.. so this threw him off. He had to start all over, and find a circular barbell for me. He didn't seem too upset or anything, and I just layed back and shut my eyes... I had to concentrate, so I wouldn't get too scared and start crying or something.

He was rustling around, looking for the barbell, and I started thinking of the countless experiences I've read here about crooked septums, and about how the piercer wouldn't re-pierce. So, I asked him, "Hey, Jay? If it comes out crooked, will you fix it?"

He laughed, and said, "Crooked? Hah. I haven't done a crooked septum in years."

This response made me laugh a little, but it put me at ease. I figured that he'd had no complaints, and that I was in good hands.

Then he pierced me. It seemed a little overly rough, and I started crying uncontrollably. I'm sure if you've read other experiences, you know that sometimes when your septum gets pierced, it just makes you tear up. You might not actually start bawling like a child, but you do cry a little. Jay wiped my tears for me, and said I did a good job.

Anyhow, when it was all said and done, I got up to look in the mirror. Crooked. Not only just a little crooked, it was severely crooked... and I was mad.

Jay says, "see how it's showing a little more in your right nostril? That's because your nose kinda goes up and in.. It's your nose that's crooked, not the piercing."

So, I look a little closer, and I say, "Well how come I can see the hole on this side, and not on the other?"

"That's just the way your nostrils are."

I started getting lightheaded so I had to sit down. I asked him to help me flip it up. He gave me some anti-bacterial hand stuff, and I went at it. I had to pull my face down, so my septum would thin out a little, and then push the barbell up into my nose, one side at a time.

It felt like when you wake up after having a cold for a week, and your nose it packed with snot.

Anyway, I turned around and looked in the mirror. I couldn't believe it! I couldn't see the right side at all, and the left side was STILL SHOWING.

I kept thinking, "obviously this is crooked." So I just kept shoving the left side up, and it just kept falling back down. I wasn't handed an aftercare sheet, I wasn't consoled or even talked to anymore. Jay just picked up the phone and called someone.. .while I was STILL STANDING THERE.

I said, "so .... I'm all set?" and he said, "Yep. See you later."

I left the shop.

I was so disappointed, I started crying. I cried all the way to my boyfriend's house, where I showed him my new addition... He laughed at me. He said, "It looks uh... uh.. aw, Jesse. Why did you do that..?" I just cried and cried, and then I showed it to another friend with a septum ring. She said, "Wow.. that's REALLY crooked. You should see if he'll do it over or something."

The next day, I stared at it all day long. I even held a shop level up to my nose.. and sure enough, that bubble floated right up to the corner. I decided to call him up and talk to him about it. I said, "Hi Jay, it's Jesse. You pierced my septum yesterday."

"Hey, Jess. What's up?" (note: Don't you hate when you tell people your name, and they just call you a nickname out of nowhere? I intentionally introduce myself as JessE, since that's what I'd like to be called.)

"I think it's crooked."

..And he had the nerve to say, "You know, I considered not even piercing you yesterday when you asked if I'd do it over if it came out crooked. I already told you, and I showed you in the mirror that it's your nose that's crooked, not my piercing. You're the kind of person who cracks me up. You want to see the autoclave, and you want to see the readouts, but you don't even pay attention to simple anatomy. If you're THAT upset about it, I suppose I'll do it over.. because I love you. But you're just going to have the same result. If you want to put yourself through that again for nothing, then go ahead... but you can't take it out right now, anyway."

"...why not?"

"..because it will create an abcess and your cartilage will deform."

Excuse my French here, but what a crock of shit. Basically he was saying that if someone stabbed me, I'd have to leave the knife through my arm as to not create an abcess? Oh, please. Why had I gone through with this?

I just said, "... Alright well, I'll call you back in a while," and hung up the phone.

Then, I decided to go get a second opinion from the piercer that I actually TRUST, Little Joe, of Kustum Kulture in Plainville, CT. (plug, plug.)

He took one look at it and said, "Yep. Crooked. It's higher on this side."

Joe told me that it's not my nose, and that he could clearly see Jay's mistake.

He said that if I wanted something straight, I should have come to him. Which was absolutely true.

I decided to take out the piercing. So, I went to the bathroom and washed my nose, washed my hands, and proceeded to unscrew the balls.

No F*cking Way.

The circular barbell he had prepared while my eyes were closed was EXTERNALLY THREADED.

Now, not only did I have a crooked piercing, I'd have a hell of a time trying to get it out, too. This was wonderful.

So, slowly, I slid the barbell through my septum, and stopped just before the threads. Did I really want to go through with this? I figured that If I let it heal, the threads would rip it open again when I removed the barbell anyhow... so here went nothing...

I could feel EACH THREAD get caught on my nose and rip a little piece out. I cried and cried, and my nose bled all over myself, my hands, and onto the floor.

Needless to say, I never called Jay back.. and I'll never be returning to that store. I blew off my tattoo appointment, too. How do I know that the entire shop isn't a bunch of degenerates?

I plan on letting the whole thing heal up.. It's been about a week, and the tip of my nose is still quite sore. But I'm just keeping it clean until I'm ready to start over again. Little Joe said that I could re-pierce it in about a month... and this time, I wont make the same mistake... I'll go to Kustum Kulture in Plainville, CT. Definitely.