Today is Jan. 15th. Yesterday, I had my septum done. This is not a sentence typed lightly, as I am a 31-year-old Mom to 4 small children. (My oldest is 5)
At A Glance Author Valerie Contact Valerie@bme.anon When It just happened Artist David Klaiber Studio Blue Byrd Location Dayton, OH It's hard to classify me based on appearance. To the average Joe on the street I look like your typical stay at home Mom. Granted my hair is a color a bit brighter than found in nature and my clothes are always 2 sizes too big but it's nothing that couldn't be chalked up to mild eccentricity. However, if they were to ask the right questions they would find that there was a little punk rock girl hiding inside.
I haven't had any mods done in years. I have 2 tattoos on my back. The shoulder piece, a small Cherokee symbol, was done in my college days. It's a piece of crap overall and healed with some Keloid scarring (thank you extra skin pigment). I hope one day to have it worked into a larger piece and covered. The other a rather large sun (I'm a Leo) on my lower back was done in 2 sittings by Mark Agee at Skinquake in Indy. It's a nice piece and I'm proud to show it off. I had my tongue done...gosh; it'll be 8 years this spring.
So, given the length of time that's passed since then it's kind of surprising that I had my septum done.
It's a piercing that I've always admired. It's admittedly one of the more "bad ass" visible piercings and creates a real air of mystery around the wearer. I've always wanted one along with a nasal hoop. However my nose if VERY sensitive and I never thought that I'd be able to pull it off. I'm the kind of person that is reduced to a fit of sneezes if my nose is bumped. Kind of silly to think that piercing it would be a cool idea.
But a couple of weeks ago I had a dream about doing my septum. When I woke up it was my all-consuming obsession. I'm like that. I will think about something seemingly forever, but when I make up my mind about doing it I'm balls to the wall.
After scouring the internet (oh beloved internet) looking for everything I could find on septum piercings, jewelry and the like I was jumping out of my skin to do it. I figured a 14g would be just about right. I started looking about for the right piercer.
My husband manages a kitchen and one of the kids who works for him said that he knew a piercer. Long story short, the guy does some freelance for a shop near my house. Well, I definitely didn't want to make a big deal of doing it so I figured just stopping in the shop would work best for me. I didn't want to tell anyone, except my husband of course, because I wasn't interested in hearing anyone's opinions and I didn't want to make my nerves jangly. So, I e-mailed the shop (yes, I do EVERYTHING online) and asked the owner a few questions about his staff and their experience, etc. He did his best to answer but suggested I come in and have a chat.
Flash to 3 days later. My husband and I have just gotten the boys to bed (3 boys, 1 girl) and I decided that I needed something decadent to eat. I mention Ben & Jerry's to him and he jumps on my momentary weakness. Of course it's little coincidence that the B&J's is maybe 3 blocks from the tattoo shop. I told him that I was going to stop in and talk to David before I got the ice cream. If I didn't come back in 20 mins that meant that I was going through with it that night.
So, as I am approaching the shop I'm trying to decide whether to park or just keep driving. Thank goodness I decided to park. I went in and David was the only person in the shop. We chatted a bit about the best piece of jewelry, metal, etc. He seemed like a decent enough guy and his shop was super-clean. I could feel myself quivering with anticipation and I knew that I had to do right then. I figured since it was just the 2 of us, it'd be perfect nobody there to make a fuss, etc. Cue 3 goofball teen boys to enter the shop.
One of them was there to do his tongue and the other had some Kanji that he wanted inked. Well, David told him he could do the tongue but didn't have time for the tat. He went back to put my CBR and the kids barbell into the autoclave. (At this point in his mind I was still just thinking about it). Then another guy comes in looking to buy a hoop for his conch. So, David has to make a special piece because he doesn't have a 16g and it looks like we are working on tattoo time. This is the phenomenon where everything takes 2 hours longer than it should. There is no urgency in a tattoo shop, ya know?
Eventually, the guy gets his hoop in and leaves. All this time I've been waiting and now I'm feeling like I'm going to get the shits! My stomach is clearly not agreeing that the piercing is a swell idea. I'm thinking that if it's not my turn soon I'm going to soil my pants!
Next up is the kid with the tongue. I ask him if he minds if I watch and he's all, "The more the merrier." He's nervous and it shows but I reassure him that if little ole me can take it he'll be just fine. The piercing goes w/out a hitch and he and his crew exit the scene.
Now it's back to just David and me. One of his piercers, Fud had come in and was piercing a tongue in the next room but overall I was free of an audience. I sat down in the chair and waited for the big moment. Earlier when during our discussion I had asked David what his opinion on the pain level of this piece. He said that he'd done his own and found it to be and I quote, "A real kick in the pants."
So, he gets everything laid out, is changing his gloves at the appropriate moments and such and I'm just waiting. I felt exactly like I did during my daughter's labor the moment that the contractions started coming fast and furious and I knew there was no turning back, no epidural to save my ass. It's a cocktail of excitement, fear and dread.
David showed me the antiseptic swab and said, "It's going up your nose." Of that I was pretty aware. It tingled a bit and smelled nice and mediciney which is comforting when you are about to have a needle shoved in your head. He told me to bite my upper lip and he set to work marking "the sweet spot". I have a pretty big schnoz so I'm guessing it wasn't too hard to find. I was already starting in on my deep breathing because I wanted to be as calm as possible. I didn't want to have some reflexive response and punch the guy or something.
After he marked it off, he lined up the receiving tube and the needle. I kept my eyes shut and kept on biting on my lip. I was surprised but somewhat grateful that he was doing the piercing w/out a clamp. From the volumes of stories I'd read on BME it seemed like the clamp just adds insult to injury in the discomfort dept. He leaned in and I kept on breathing slowly and deeply. As I exhaled he put the needle through. At first I was thinking, "Boy this doesn't hurt a bit!" Then I felt a hot pain sensation and stiffened just a bit. By then it was over. David just keeps on talking to distract me from the insertion of the jewelry, which is in my opinion, the worst part of the whole thing.
As soon as he finished I said, "Wow, that wasn't even 1/10th as bad as I thought it would be!" He seemed pleased that I wasn't traumatized and proceeded to hand me a mirror. I hardly looked at it I was so buzzed. He showed me wear it was a bit crooked on the exit side and where it was swelling there. He let me know that it would straighten out fine once the swelling went down and showed me how to train it if it was uncooperative.
He also showed me how to flip it up. They really need to think of another expression for it though as it's more tedious than the word flip implies. I wanted to wear it down for the trip home though to show my man. He provided me with the aftercare speech and then it was time to go.
I tipped him, shook his hand and left. Once I arrived home I was on autopilot. I did the things I was supposed to do but I was in my own universe. My husband, who was against the piercing from the start, conceded that, "It didn't look as bad as he though it would."
I flipped it up before bed and then proceeded to try to get some rest. Unfortunately, I was so high from the rush that I got a pretty crappy night's sleep.
I'm keeping it flipped up for the most part since I don't want my kids touching it and or reaching for my nose. Once it's a bit more healed I'll start wearing it down more. It's only the second day and I have to say it's not feeling bad at all. In fact, unless I'm cleaning it, it gives me no discomfort. Of course I wholly expect that I'm going to take a shot to the nose soon and then I'll be crippled with pain.
Overall, I am very pleased with the whole experience. I'm proud of myself for doing it first of all. And secondly, I found that it wasn't nearly as bad as I had built up in my mind. I experienced none of the feeling of being punched in the nose and my left eye teared up just slightly. (I was afraid I was going to cry like a bitch.) I can't wait to get my husband to take some pics!!
If you are obsessing over septum stories right now as I was, go for it! I don't think you'll be sorry you did.