My story begins with my 8 gauge septum piercing that I had stretched myself about 4 months ago. (I used a pincher to do this, which I wouldn't recommend). So, I decided that now it was time for my 8 gauge to go to a 6, so I bought some jewelry, and went to a studio to go and get it stretched professionally this time. The jewelry that I bought was a shorter than standard length, blue titanium, single flared earlet. I went into the studio, and there was a man and a young girl working there. I asked if they could do the stretch, and they said "sure". I followed the girl back to the piercing room, and laid down on the doctor's table while she got everything ready. The girl had several piercings, but looked about 15, so I asked her how long she had worked there, and she said three years, so I figured that was long enough, and she must be older than she looks.
At A Glance Author squatch When A week ago I was glad that this place had a table, rather than a chair, so that way, she would be inserting the jewelry where the flared side would be in my right nostril, because that's the way I like to wear my "retainer" (a flare on the right, and no o-ring on the left). I don't have a problem with it falling out, and I like to be able to move it back and forth. Anyway... I tugged on my current Circular Barbell a bit, then removed my jewelry.
She now was ready to insert the lubed-up taper into my nose, and I'd be on my way...(at least that's what I thought). I now prepared for the sensation that I had become very accustomed to. That wonderful stinging, and the involuntary shedding of tears. I now felt the cold metal slide comfortably in 1/3 of the way, then she paused and asked, "Is that okay?" I said yeah, and wondered what sort of question that was, then she stopped about 1/3 from the end, and asked it again. She then put the jewelry up to it, and slid it in. At least that's what I thought, but when her hands came up, both the jewelry and the taper were in her slightly blood, gloved hands. I was pissed. She stated that the jewelry didn't go through, and I wished that the phrase "Duh" were still in style so I could say it. She asked me if I wanted her to try again, and I said yes. She tried it again, and had the same result. She then compared the jewelry and the taper, and stated that the jewelry was ju st slightly larger than the taper. Who knows why, but it was just slightly off. I don't know about you, but I like to blame all my woes in life on that damn metric system. She asked me if I wanted to try one more time, and I said yes. She changed her gloves for one last try, but by the time she was ready again and inserted the taper, she only got about half way and it was really tight, so we called it quits.
I put my jewelry back in my sore septum, and she told me to wait a few months, and try it again. The only good part was that I had all that fun for free.
I like to think that things like these should be left to the professionals, but on the drive home I decided I would just do it myself. After a week my septum was back to normal, but I gave it a few more weeks of tugging before I tried to stretch it again. I decided that I would make my own taper, custom designed for my off-gauge jewelry. So I went shopping at the local Home Depot. I bought a ¼ inch wooden dowel rod, some sandpaper, and some high-gloss polyurethane finish. I then took a sort section of the rod, and carved it to a gradual point, the large end having a little stub on the end that my earlet would fit onto, making the process easier. I then sanded the wood, and applied the coating. I then repeated this a couple times until it was a perfectly smooth work of art. I lubed up the taper using Neosporin, and looked in the mirror, while I pushed it through. It worked great, it was by far the best stretching I have had yet, so I decided that from now on I would ra ther leave the job of septum stretching up to me and my custom tapers. For anyone out there wondering if they should go ahead and stretch themselves, rather than spend the 5 or 10 bucks to get it stretched, I would recommend having it done professionally, seeing as how the supplies I bought to make my own taper cost about 10 dollars, plus time and effort it took to make the taper.