When I was arrived at the tender age of eighteen, I decided it was time for my first tattoo. I called up a friend, and on an impulse, we took to the open road. Our destination? Connecticut. While awaiting my turn under the needle, I decided to get something pierced, just to pass the time. I shelled out $60.00 and told the man behind the counter to punch a hole through my septum. Needless to say, he complied. So, at the end of the day, I had ink on my arm, and steel through my nose. Mom was going to be so pleased.
At A Glance Author Ow Catastrophe Contact Ow Catastrophe@bme.anon When A week ago Artist Ryan Fleming A few years went by, and I decided I had had enough of that damned septum ring. It did nothing but bother me. So, out it came. I was happy without it for quite some time. Then one day, about a week ago, a friend I had not seen in over a year caught me at a show. We shot the shit, and during our conversation, she asked what had happened to the metal which had once adorned my nose. I explained to her that I just wasn't feeling it anymore. She told me how much of a shame that was, because she had always thought it looked real nice. This girl could have told me I looked good with a spike through my left eye and I probably would have gone out and had it done. So, I decided right then and there, that I would head out the next day and get the damned thing pierced once more.
I awoke that morning ready to go. My friend Ryan was in town for a tattoo show, and I knew he would have the goods with him. I gave him a call, requesting that he meet me at my place later that evening. He showed up just after meal time, and it was on. I took a look through his jewelry, in search of just the right piece. I picked out a nice little 14 gauge captive bead. Ryan would have none of that. "Go big or go home," he told me. He began rooting through his case until he happened upon a nice, fat 8 gauge ring. "This is the one. Now sit back and brace yourself," he commanded. When I had had this done the first time, it was with a 16 gauge needle, and that hurt plenty. Was I ready for twice the pain? Well, I had no choice. I sat back in the chair, closed my eyes, and braced myself for the oncoming waves of agony. I didn't even want to see the needle.
The snap of the latex gloves caught my attention, and my eyes opened just enough to see the spear which he was planning on shoving through my tender little septum. I began to squirm a bit, and he instructed me to sit still, or else he would use an even bigger size. This guy meant business. He brought the needle up and placed the point against its mark. I took a deep breath to ready myself. Ryan counted down from 3, and then BOOM! Lights exploded behind my eyelids. Water leaked from the edges of my eyes and ran down my face. I tried my hardest not to pucker up my face. The needle slid through, but stopped halfway. Why was Ryan stopping? "Sorry buddy, I forgot to put the ring onto the end of the needle. Hang on just a minute." he said. "Sure Ryan. I'll hold on. I'll just sit her patiently while you get your head out of your ass!" I would have gone on complaining, but before I could say another word, he flicked me in the nose, and that shut me right up.
Finally came the ring. It felt like forever and a day. I knew it would all be over soon though. I had been through this once before. I knew the drill.
"Done!" shouted Ryan. I opened my eyes and looked around. The room sloshed around in front of me as my head reeled from the pain in my face. A mirror was given to me, and in it, I saw my pasty white face with a big, fat hunk of metal in the center of it. Mom was REALLY going to love this one. I wiped away the blood which was flowing freely from my nose and tried to twist the ring a bit. That was a no go. This thing wasn't going to move for a while.
The next day, I caught up with my friend at her place of employment. I snuck up behind her, and snagged her by the wrist. She spun around, and the look of shock on her face was priceless. "What the hell possessed you to get such a huge fucking ring?!" she gasped. I could think of only one way to reply. "Go big or go home..."