On the day I decided to get my tongue pierced, it had been over a month since my last piercing (my industrial). I was itching for something new to add to my body and I didn't feel like waiting any longer for a new piercing. Just the night before I spoke to my parents about getting a center labret and before I could say another word, they said no. They thought it looked ugly and couldn't understand why I wasn't satisfied with my eyebrow piercing. I wasn't in a particularly argumentative mood that night so I just sighed and said, fine, no labret.
At A Glance Author Lauren Contact Lauren@bme.anon IAM darthlaurian When A month ago Location Philippines
Before I go on with the rest of my story, I should probably add that I live in a rather conservative Asian country where parents still have a huge say in their children's lives, sometimes even when their kids are married. I know that in the West, people my age would have completely ignored their parents' wishes and had gotten a labret anyway. That's what I did with my eyebrow and my industrial. While I didn't regret getting those piercings and my folks didn't really freak out when they saw the metal on my body, I felt bad about not informing my parents of my descision before I had the piercings done. Besides, they're still paying for my college education and I still live with them. (People in the Philippines don't usually move out of their parents' place til they're in their mid-20s, or when they get married. It's also fairly normal for grown kids to live with their parents until the latter dies of old age.) Despite that pressing need to get a new piercing, I decided against a labret as a form of respect for them.
But clever me thought, "Hmm, my mom said I couldn't get a labret. But she never said anything against a tongue piercing." So a tongue piercing it was.
The piercing experience itself wasn't particularly eventful. The piercer held my tongue out with clamps, checked underneath and marked a spot between two large veins, then marked the top of my tongue. He pushed the needle in from below and it hurt like crazy. I couldn't taste blood or anything so I suppose I didn't bleed. But I felt dizzy and wanted to pass out. Don't let that stop you from getting your tongue pierced though; I always get nauseous whenever I get pierced. The barbell I chose had large metal balls and I remembered too late that acrylic balls are more ideal for tongue piercings. With metal balls, it's likely that you'll end up with a chipped tooth if you accidentally bite on it while eating. Nothing of the sort happened to me but again, I didn't have the piercing long enough for accidents like that to happen.
For a while I thought about lying to my folks about my tongue piercing. It didn't make my speech sound any different and my roommates couldn't tell that I had my tongue pierced; they only found out when I stuck my tongue out for them. I couldn't stand the thought of lying to my folks, or anyone, though. So that night, I told my mom over chat that I had my tongue pierced.
I was very surprised at her reaction. Normally when I would "surprise" my parents with a new piercing, they'd just look a little disappointed and nag me about taking care of it. But my mom freaked out. Not only did she freak out and start telling me how disappointed she was and sick of me "acting out" and "mutilating my body and my beauty". Apparently, my dad went apeshit. He went into a little rage, started cursing and yelling about what other crazy things I'm going to be up to. Drugs? Tattoos?
I couldn't understand why my parents were so upset. I thought they wouldn't mind the tongue piercing because it's very hidden. Piercings aren't very popular in the Philippines but getting your tongue pierced is so common, nobody would look at you like a freak if you had one. My mom said that it's going to get infected, no matter how much I wash it with mouthwash because I smoke, there's bacteria in food, blah blah blah. She even wanted to take me to a doctor to make sure that my tongue's okay, and refused to listen to me when I said that it was perfectly fine. I even tried showing her the BME site and that it's highly unlikely that my tongue will get infected. But she didn't want to look at it because, "These people are not doctors. They don't know anything."
I got really depressed at the thought of possibly losing my tongue piercing. I wanted nothing more than to keep it but at the same time, I didn't like that my parents were very upset and worried about me. So on Monday, I agreed to go to my aunt's house with my mom to have my tongue checked. My aunt happens to be a dermatologist, very little knowledge about piercings. I asked her once if she could pierce my eyebrow and she said she didn't know how to. "But I'm sure it's pretty simple, all you need is a piercing gun, right?" she said. I didn't want to tell my mom that my aunt doesn't know a thing about piercings because she'd just say that I don't know anything because I'm not a doctor. My aunt told me that my tongue was fine, but that her advise as a doctor is to remove it. She went on to explain that the mouth is the second dirtiest body part next to the anus, that mouthwash can only kill so much bacteria...a lot of things I've already heard before. Then she took a look at my industrial, which was actually infected. She told me that I should definitely remove that because it's been over a month and it still hasn't healed. I protested a little but inwardly I was a little relieved. My industrial makes sleeping quite awkward since I love sleeping on my side. Besides, I know I haven't been taking very good care of it; I love playing with the barbell and picking at the crusties with my dirty hands. So out went the industrial. But I was still vehement about keeping my tongue piercing.
My mom and I had a huge fight after we left my aunt's house. I was basically screaming and crying like a stupid teenager and saying lots of stuff about how she's trying to repress my personality. I got genuinely depressed though, and it wasn't just because I might lose my tongue piercing. I think, to some extent, my parents think that I'm a "bad" person because getting piercings and body mods aren't "normal". Especially in the Philippines. Conformity is the norm here and people find it difficult to accept anyone who deviates from whatever they consider to be normal. I suppose my parents were just worried about me and how society will accept me or something. That and they think that body piercings are nothing but a source of infection. They don't beautify, they mutilate.
I thought it over for the next couple of days and I eventually decided to say goodbye to my tongue piercing. It's only lately that my relationship with my parents has become more positive and I didn't want to destroy that by insisting on keeping the piercing. Besides, I noticed that my tongue was starting to turn a little white and was worried about developing an infection. I had a feeling it was because I still kept on smoking my one pack of cigarettes a day, and used mouthwash with alcohol.
I don't regret getting my tongue pierced, and I don't regret getting it removed either. What I'm really sad about is the closed-minded manner in which my parents view body modification. My parents are actually far more liberal and lenient than most Filipinos and they aren't as restrictive as I might have made them appear here. Still, they just can't understand that body mods are a pretty big part of who I am as a person; I think they're still praying that I'll get over this "piercing phase" soon. I just hope that one day, they'll at least tolerate my mods and understand that I'm smart enough to know about the risks involved. Though it may seem like piercings are sites for infection, I would never do anything to harm myself.