Wait a minute... stick out your tongue!

At A Glance Author -A Contact -A@bme.anon Artist Jessie Studio 21st Century Tattoo Location Portland, Oregon

I'd been interested in getting my tongue pierced for a while, but what always held me back was I didn't know how people at work might handle it.

Around the 4th of July I knew that I'd have about 10 days where I wasn't going to have to show up to work. I figured this was plenty of time to heal and get used to the piercing so that I would not make a spectacle of myself at work.

So, at the start of the long weekend I took a quit trip to the grocery store to stock up on soup and the like. I was planning to spend the next week couped up at home.

My next stop was A 21st Century Studio of Tattoo & Body Piercing (www.21stcenturytattoo.com). A woman who was wearing a t-shirt that read "WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU LOOKING AT?" came out and introduced herself. Jessie was her name. She would be doing my piercing.

Jessie led me into a small room with a chair in it like you'd find at a doctor's office. She had me gurgle with Tom's of Maine non-alcoholic mouthwash for a minute or so. Then she marked my tongue with a pen and asked me if that looked good. I said it was, but would I have known if it wasn't ok? No!

Then she stuck the needle through my tongue. The first thing that went through my mind was "I just got my tongue pierced". Like I was surprised or something. It was a moment of clarity, I guess.

A fraction of a second later I thought, "That hurt!" It really didn't hurt very badly, but it hurt. I'm not going to lie and claim that it didn't. The feeling was pain, however brief. It felt exactly as I imagined it would feel. Kinda like biting your tongue, only you don't bite the middle of your tongue. And the pain went away pretty quickly, only to be replaced with a different pain. But more on that later...

Jessie gave me a mirror to take a look. It looked pretty cool, but I was immediately worried because it was hard to talk and it wasn't very comfortable. I seriously doubted if I'd leave it in because I was talking like (and feeling like) I had a large piece of metal lodged in my tongue.

I was working for a conservative Fortune 50 corporation and I didn't think they'd agree with me about the coolness thing. Plus I just know if it was it was worth talking with a lisp for the rest of my life.

I decided that if I couldn't talk any better after a week and a half then I would consider removing it. In the meantime I was just going to relax and try to heal.

Jessie gave me some tips before I left. She said to use a non-alcoholic mouthwash like Tom's of Maine. I was to avoid spicy food, oral sex and kissing until I healed. There were some others, but those were the biggies. Avoiding spicy food would be hard because I put crushed red pepper on pretty much everything. The oral sex and kissing would be easy because I'm a single loser.

So I went home and watched TV as my tongue swelled. It didn't feel swelled in my mouth, but when I looked in the mirror it was huge... almost to a comic degree.

The next 7 to 10 days my tongue alternated between pretty sore, throbbing, and mildly uncomfortable. As you can imagine, the pain was at its worse when I ate or otherwise moved my tongue. The first day or so I wasn't hungry for much, but after that I really wanted some food.

Talking was likewise difficult. Of course, all sorts of people were calling me on the phone, none of whom knew that I got my tongue pierced. I was talking with a huge lisp of which I was very self-conscious.

Thankfully the lisp went away with time. One morning after 2 or 3 weeks I woke up and realized that I didn't really notice the bar in my mouth any more. I laugh when I think back to how I was all stressed about talking funny for feeling the bar in my mouth. And after I got a smaller bar it was that much easier to talk and that much more comfortable.

I guess it was inevitable that people would notice it. I'd say that about 1/2 the people I talk to notice it and mention it to me. I don't know if the rest don't see it or just don't mention it.

The "did it hurt" questions are not the most annoying. That distinction goes to "but you don't look like the kind of person who would do such a thing". By far.

I can appreciate the comment, I suppose. I did not get this done to get attention. Upon noticing the piercing my friends have all asked me why I didn't tell them about it. I didn't to it to make a statement about myself or about society. I did it for fun and to see what it was like.

I've had the piercing for over 2 months now and I really like it. I'm always putting things in my mouth, so I enjoy always having something there. And like I mentioned, most of the time I don't even notice it there. I'm happy that I got it done.

The only other thing I want to comment on is biting the bar and chipping your teeth. I bit down on the bar once during my first week and that's it. Maybe it depends on your tongue and your jewelry, but once I sized mine down I would have to be chewing like an idiot for it to happen. Famous last words, I'm sure!