It was a little over a year ago that I first wanted to start stretching my lobes. I had seen people on the street and at the mall with this cultural oddity and I wanted to check it out for myself. So of course I went online and Googled it. I came up with a bunch of pictures and stories and was suddenly addicted. I wanted to stretch my lobes and I wanted to do it as soon as possible.
At A Glance Author Morgan "Angel on Fire" Contact XxAng3lOnFir3xX@aol.com When It just happened But, alas, all things meet obstacles. My biggest one was my mom. At the time I had two simple lobe piercings and a cartilage one. My mother wasn't too happy about my choice and it took a lot of coaxing just to allow a simple 10g. But I got addicted fast and stretched to an 8g without permission.
Seeing as I had already did it, she didn't make me take it out after all the pain I'd already been through. Trying to get to gauge bigger, I took her on a trip to Hot Topic where I got them to talk to her about all things lobe stretching. We made a compromise. I would gauge to a 4g and that's it. Not enough for me. "Come on, mom! At least give me a 2g!" And it was settled. I'd stick with 2g.
A few months before the time of deciding to stretch I had gotten into cutting as a form of self-harm. I promised that I would stop the self-harm, and I had for a few months, but I had become depressed and suicidal.
After a few smaller suicide attempts I was put in a hospital. I was devastated but it was time for me to take a retrospect on my life. Still I was quite out of it and deeply depressed with grades dropping and no friends. When I was let out of the hospital I continued to spiral downwards.
That was the first week of December. After I was let out, I first began to stretch. I was no longer cutting but I would use lobe stretching as a form of affliction of pain on myself. I knew my mom was onto me but I pleaded to continue my stretching as this meant more to me than just self-harm. Less than two months later and at a 10g I was placed back into the hospital for numerous attempts at my life and a new addiction of choking.
By the time I was let out I was beginning to feel better and continued on with my stretching. I got a third set of earrings and gauged my second set to a 14g. By summer I was at a 2g with my first set of holes, a 6g with my second and a 10g with my third. I was completely addicted.
About halfway through summer I began to cut and choke again. By this time I had managed a single friend who was going through the same thing. He and I decided to go to the hospitals by our homes to try and get our self-harm settled. But to my dismay the hospital forced me to take out all my gauges. I was crushed; my new body modification would shrink.
By the time I was let out, my holes had lost 3-4 gauges. In the spur of the moment I stretched them in one sitting back to their old sizes. I felt completely relieved and alive. The pain really gave me a chance to think about life. There was no away I was going back to that hell-house of a hospital. I was to get better for a final time.
And so I did. I ended up talking my mom into letting me stretch to a 0g. It was a whole year from my first beginning to stretch. I was doing loads better and at the time was 3 months, no cutting. After Christmas I made up a new pact. I was to gauge my third set of holes to a 6g, my second to a 2g and my third to stay at a 0g.
But who can stop after that!? My mom herself began to stretch one of her holes and quickly she was, too, addicted. In the end she settled with a 2g. This was my chance to ask for more. I set up a big plan for my gauging to a 1/2-inch. At first, she thought I was crazy, but then she understood. My plan mapped out the cost it would be to me, what type of jewelry I would buy, where I would buy it from and how long I would wait between stretching. She accepted it and so I went on to buy my jewelry. I began to stretch.
As of tomorrow, I'm at 6 months no cutting, (and so is my very helpful friend). I am doing loads better and with a ton less depression. I'm stretched to a 12mm and will be a 1/2 inch before the month is over. My new more fulfilling life of body modification has just begun. Who knows, in 5 more years when I move out and go to college I could even go to a 1 inch! With my other piercings I have, along with the ones I dearly want, I am hopelessly and happily addicted and ready to finally live as myself! And now I can accept that it's not a bad thing at all.