My very first aware venture into body modification was the process of stretching my standard gun-pierced ear lobes to ½". This began in a random, unfortunately haphazard fashion, beginning with the purchase of a pair of what I later measured to be 10g horn spirals. Perhaps though, it began farther back than that. I can still remember the first time that I saw a man with stretched ears. I came across him in a store in Florida that specialized in all manners of reptiles and amphibians, sometimes those of questionable legality. It was frequented more by heavily tattooed and pierced men, than by seven-year-old girls, and their apprehensive mothers. I just remember looking up at him, and trying to figure out how I was able to see through his amazing ears.
At A Glance Author Swims_in_the_Ether Contact Swims_in_the_Ether@bme.anon IAM Swims_in_the_Ether When Two years ago Artist This was self done Studio at home Location St. Charles Anyway, ten years later I was about to begin the same process, and was not even fully aware at first that what I was doing was going to result in the same thing that I had seen years ago. Because of this absurd obliviousness, I would quickly injure myself following the instructions from the woman that I purchased the spirals from who didn't even have pierced ears. I did everything that one is NOT supposed to do while stretching his or her ears. Mistake #1: I used the horn spirals to stretch. Mistake #2: as I was informed, I would be able to get them all the way into my ears in three days with a little olive oil and pushing. Yes, it hurt. Yes, after two days of being very angry and sore, I relieved my throbbing right ear of the horn spiral to find the hole full of pus and blood. The left ear didn't suffer quite as much, but my right ear would never really forgive me. Thus, the spirals disappeared into the depths of my jewelry box for long enough for my angry ears to heal.
Once they did heal, I went about the same process, still not following proper stretching etiquette, but improving over what I had done before. Since the spirals were almost weightless, they would stay in my ears even if I didn't put them in all the way. As soon as I felt the first point of resistance, not the first point of pain, I stopped and left them. After fiddling around with them for months in this manner, one millimeter at a time, eventually they slid all the way in. I was extremely proud of them, and only took them out to clean them off, but was still unaware that this was body modification I was partaking in. My ears remained at 10g for a year, until an anthropology class would arouse my curiosity.
There was a brief discussion on the subject of various rituals and body modification throughout many cultures and the history of the human race. I was enthralled. I began to do more research on my own, and this was when I came across BME and other sites, which enlightened me about proper stretching. I had expanded my knowledge to include the information necessary to expand my ear piercings. I began to search for larger jewelry.
I bought some stainless steel tapers and plugs in sizes up to 0g, which I decided after serious debate would be my stopping point. I waited carefully between stretches, usually taking six to eight weeks or longer when my ears were ready. When stretching, I would take a hot shower or soak my ears in hot water, massage them with extra virgin olive oil, and then slide the taper in following it up with a plug that would be held in by o-rings. If I met any resistance from my ears, which I often did, I would simply wait longer. The right one would take far more time than the left one, probably due to scar tissue from my first abusive attempt at stretching my ears. I began to massage them with vitamin E oil, which does wonders for breaking down scar tissue. Never again did I encounter blood and pus.
However, I did begin to feel the social ramifications of altering my body, even if said alterations were minor at the time. I still had my waist-length hippy hair, so the majority of people, including my parents, were unaware of them. My boyfriend at the time was aware, and wasn't at all pleased. He was the kind of person for whom I had to bullshit 'profound meaning' into everything I did in order to justify it, or else I would come under attack. This was no different, and I rambled nervously about some of the meanings it had in other cultures, references in art history, how for me it meant expanding consciousness, etc. At the time, I thought I was making a gross exaggeration of my interest, but later I would realize how very true it was. He would snap at me quite violently about its meaninglessness once I left him. The love for myself and my body, and my confidence in my newly asserted identity reinforced by body modification is far greater than what the relationship ever could have given me.
My parents, while ambivalent about it, were still more approving than my significant other, and today don't mind them at all. I made it proudly to my goal of 0g while I was staying in France, when my right ear finally caught up. At last, I was symmetrical! Well...sort of, even though my plugs now matched, I realized that one ear was far lower on my head than the other. However, it goes along great the foot that's bigger than the other, and the boob that's smaller than the other, and the hand that is longer than its partner. I embraced my asymmetrical nature.
The story doesn't end there though. Once at 0g, I was thrilled, but at the same time there was this itching dissatisfaction that persisted as I began to think of my next step in body modification. I obtained a few more piercings, and feeling inadequate about the size of my ears, decided to stretch them up to ½". When I first began stretching, 0g seemed so big and scary, and while excited, I would still think 'I can't believe that is going to go into my ear!' I was also concerned about the permanence, and so 0g seemed reasonable. Certain that I wanted to always have modification in my life because of the positive effects it brought, and no longer hampered by fear of permanence, I stretched them larger. ½" is the perfect size for me, and I have been there for eight months.
The stretching of my ears proved to be analogous to the evolution of my identity into a strong, confident individual. While there were countless important factors in this positive growth in my life, stretching my ears became a meditative ritual to reinforce these newfound ideals. Doing the proper research beforehand helped tremendously, and I am thankful that sites such as BME offer expansive amounts of information about body modification and the modified community.
I began my venture into modification under the pretense that what I was doing was random and held little meaning. However, it was something that felt right, natural, comforting, like it was an inborn trait waiting for me to heed its presence. And if someone reading this is in the same place that I was three years ago, don't discount your feelings and desires as being meaningless. Listen to them, because they will help you out tremendously, even if the purpose doesn't seem clear right now.