So, a couple months ago I finally made the decision to have my ears pierced with the hopes of stretching them from the original starting jewelry ( 10G ), to something more substantial that wouldn't raise too many eyebrows at work ( 2G possibly). The Body piercer they had on site at Masterpiece was extremely informative, and well versed. The guy knew what he was doing and it showed. The Studio has since moved to their new location (listed) and I think that piercer has since moved on.
At A Glance Author Spaz Contact Spaz@bme.anon When A month ago Artist N/A (no longer listed/employed there) Studio Masterpiece Tattoo and Body piercing Location 99 S. Broadway (Rte 28), Salem, NH 03079 I decided to start out smaller than I had anticipated because I wanted to get a feel for the process, and more importantly let my wife become acclimated with the idea of these chunks of steel hanging out of my lobes. She has never had an issue with my ink, but when I brought up the idea of the piercing/stretching she lost it. She's a very straight laced gal with no ink of her own, let alone the fact that she rarely wears earrings herself.
Needless to say all that kissing and nibbling on the ears that I used to love so much, that all went flying out the window on a rocket.
So I'd had these small 10g ball/clasp hoops in my ears for about a month. I was walking around in the Mall of New Hampshire and I spotted a small Kiosk for a place called Spider Bite(http://www.spider-bite.com/alternative_sun.htm). They had a pretty wide range of jewelry available for such a small place to hold everything. I was getting tired of the 10g hoops and decided it was time to step it up and start some stretching. After a short chat with the man at the kiosk I picked up three different pairs of plain steel plugs, each pair progressively larger. A pair of 8g, 4g, and 2g straight steel plugs . The 8g slid in with ease as I walked away from the Kiosk at the mall. For some odd and otherwise unexplainable reason I had two sealed alcohol swabs in my pocket which to my joy came in rather handy right then and there.
I let about two weeks pass before I attempted the 4g plugs. Yes you read that correctly I went straight from 8g plugs to 4g plugs, not purposely mind you. The interesting thing about this is that I thought I had purchased a set of 8g, 6g, and 4g plugs. Some how in my buying excitement I didn't notice or something got scrambled and I ended up with a set of 4g, and 2g. Problem was the bags I brought them home in had no labeling on them. So I thought I had the correct sizes for a proper stretch.......fuck was I wrong.
I ended up putting in the 4g plugs with a little hesitation in my left lobe, and A LOT of hesitation in my right. A normal sane properly thinking person probably would have stopped and thought, "Hmm, these aren't going in as easily as the last pair. I wonder if I have the correct size? I'll go back and have them gauge the size on their chart and find out first hand." What I thought was "What the fuck, oh you're going in one way or another you little bitch.....Just....a...little....more." *POP*
I didn't even think twice when I heard, and felt the *pop* in my right ear lobe. I don't know what I thought it was, but I didn't care. I didn't care until I felt something running down the right side of my neck. I gave a quick wipe figuring it was a bead of sweat. With my left ear lobe done and all the work I was putting into trying to finish my right ear I was on fire. Instead of wiping away a bead of sweat I came back with four fingers smeared in crimson. I managed to blow out my right ear in all the pushing and now I had to pay the price. The bleeding stopped pretty quickly, but the pain was worse then any piercing/tattoo I had ever had done. It constantly felt infected, I had to remove and clean the plug several times a day, sleeping on the right side of my head was impossible. I actually woke up one night in pain due to rolling to my right side in the middle of sleep. I wasn't going to deal with that ever again, I thought. I waited a month before attempting to insert the 2g plugs.
Again my left ear although soar right away, it accepted the 2g plug and was done in minutes. Time had come to battle with my right ear again. For all my pushing, prodding, and twisting this time there was no way that I could get his one in. Well, not without a little monkey ingenuity anyway. The process of getting the plug into my right ear ended up taking all day right into my work schedule. It irritated the shit out of me because I was really impatient about the whole process now and I just wanted to jam the damn plug into my right earlobe....again.....and be done with it......again....., which is exactly what I did.......*sigh* again.
A couple co-workers had gone out for some lunch and brought back some McDonalds. Sitting at the lunch table still irritated because I couldn't get the plug in I saw one of those extra fat straws you get from McDonalds which sparked a brainstorm of epic stupidity which I would pay for later on. I pulled out the 2g plug still in its small Spider Bite logo covered bag. I then grabbed one of these straws that laid strewn across the cafeteria lunch table where co-workers and friends alike who I sat with began to slowly turn their interest to what I was doing while still holding conversation with others. I took the plug and tried to insert it into the McDonalds straw. Sure enough it fit rather nicely. My friends and co-workers confused with what I was doing lost interest quickly and went back to their conversations.
I took my new monkey tool and made a B-line for the nearest private bathroom. Where I work we have a giant stall/urinal filled bathroom for all the workers and slobs. Down a hallway and through a door there are two private bathrooms for customers who happen to be touring our facility. Being that I work on second shift these bathrooms were sought after like cigarettes in federal prison. If you had the need and the door was open to these bathrooms, it brought a smile to your face. Mainly due to the fact that you didn't have to stand in piss puddles at the urinals, or hover with your ass hanging in the air for fear of catching something from the last man ass to smear across the seat. You didn't have to deal with what your co-workers bowels were going through that day with nothing more then a sheet of painted aluminum wall separating the two of you. Barely long enough to cover from his shins and above. The view was covered just enough, but you still got the full odor and acoustic performance of Chicken Alfredo versus Lactose intolerance played in G flat.
I find the private bathroom available and quickly lock myself in. I pull out a small pair of scissors from my smock pocket (apparel required at my place of work) and cut a 1 1/2" section of straw off of the giant McDonalds straw. I chew one end of this small piece flat and fold it onto itself, just as a blacksmith would do to increase the strength of a metal he is forging. In my scenario though I'm looking to decrease a circumference gradually on this small section of plastic so I might create a quick little monkey taper! I remember being proud of my quick thinking and on the spot Macgyver skills, and if you have followed this story this far you'll know that there's always a light at the end of the tunnel. That light at the end of the tunnel always turns out to be something dangerous and painful in my case.
So I have my little monkey taper, and my very hesitant 2g plug. I insert the plug into the open end of the straw and carefully begin to place the now tapered straw end into the vacant 4g stretched right earlobe. It really was amazing how easily the plug went it. Like the left lobe my right ear felt like it was on fire, but I took it al in stride. Both ears felt like newly pierced ears all over again. I dealt with it though figuring the pain would subside by the next morning and everything would be fine, wrong. The next morning the pain was still there, the next day was still painful, and the third day was just as bad. By the third day I figured something was wrong. That last sentence was an understatement from what I saw when I took the 2g plug out from my left ear lobe.
I want you to think to yourself about the last time you went to a fast food restaurant and ordered a hamburger. Now think to yourself that after you ordered the burger and unwrapped the item at your table or in your car, think about yourself taking the top bun and peeling it back and away from the rest of the meat, vegetables, and other random condiments in there. The bright red mixture of ketchup offset by the gleaming white hue of mayonnaise that is smothered across the burger. some sections clear of any color contrast from the mixing of both items while in other sections swirls of white and red come together in small pools of pink, do you have that mixture in mind? If you do then you have a very good visual of what the hole in my left earlobe looked like after removing the plug. There was immediate bleeding from the lobe, gobs of white ooze and transparent liquids running off my ear and into the sink. Followed by a very noticeable smell which had been corked away quite well by the plugs. I was in complete shock just staring at the mess in the mirror like it was happening to someone else and not me.
Double infection with another blow out in the right ear!
*GRAND PRIZE WINNER!*
Quickly I cleaned out the area as best I could. I ran from the bathroom out to the work floor with a paper towel over my left earlobe. Grabbing everything I would need from the first aid kit and ran back to the bathroom before someone even attempted to get in. Alcohol swabs for both plugs, antiseptic swabs for both ears, gauze for clean up, Q-tips for any hole extractions, and band-aids if the bleeding didn't stop. The right lobe was in even worse shape. Not only did I have all the Wendy's value meal toppings in the lobe, I was also greeted with a rather large and painful blister that had formed inside the stretched lobe. As painful as it was, I knew it had to be done. I grabbed a hold of the blister and squeezed it like a giant zit. The blister didn't need a lot of pressure before it gave way. I cleaned both lobes as thoroughly as possible, and swabbed the Isopropyl alcohol swabs over the plugs before reinserting them.
I never thought my lobes would heal, but it's been a moth since the explosion of puss and ooze with nothing else to write about. I'm still at a 2g straight steel plug and if the last two times I've stretched are any indication of what I'll end up going through....I'm staying right here. Either that or I'll have it done correctly. Pay attention people, either do it right or pay the price.